In the portion-parasha of the week Moses repeats the 10 commandments
with some minor changes. The last 2 commandments deal with the prohibition to '
do not covet' –' lo tachmod ' , … and do not ' desire '- lo
titaveh - your fellow's house, wife, …., etc. The Shulchan Aruch explains that the
Torah's command – do not desire =lo titaveh
is prohibiting merely thinking,
wanting and scheming as how to pressure
one's fellow into selling the item, even if one does not follow through with
his plan. Do not ' covet ' – lo tachmod prohibits active efforts - cajoling, pressurizing,
or embarrassing someone into selling him something that the owner really does
not want to sell. What about the 'poor man' who has his eyes on the money of some rich miser who certainly is not so happy to part with his
money.? Is the poor man transgressing – your shall not covet and desire your
fellow's money ?
The root causes of these sins are ' chemdat mammon –and z'nut – a desire and
craving for money, fame, pleasure and women etc. In fact, the reason why these
2 commandments are brought at the end of the 10 commandments is to teach that a
strong passion for money and women can be the trigger for a person
transgressing all of the 10 commandments. So why did the Torah not state the
prohibitions in general terms - Do not covet or desire money, pleasure and
women. ? The desire for money, pleasure
and fame = the yetzer ha'ra – the evil inclination, is crucial for motivating people to get
married , develop the world and pass on their genes to the next generation. And
the Torah acknowledges its importance when its creation on the last day of
creation is called very good and not just good. However the Yetzer Ha'ra= the
evil inclination needs to be channeled into the right areas. In this week's
portion God promises his people that they are going to inherit a viable
economic structure – great and good cities that you did not build, houses
filled with good things that you did not fill, orchards and vineyards that you
did not plant etc But God warns them of dangers of the materialistic values and the pagan religious culture associated with the economic system, something that
will cause them to forget God. We too tend to be influenced by the power of
capitalism, the society of luxury and
its message – Love things and Use people. We place great value on what we own. People will use others to gain a certain
objective and will always see others in a "what can you do for me"
way. And we believe that the
pursuit of money, material goods, fame and pleasure will not only bring
us happiness , but also bring relief
from suffering and unhappiness. Money can indeed relieve suffering when there
is poverty or a true material need , but when money, material goods, fame and
pleasure become an end in themselves, they bring misery too. People who rate
materialistic goals like wealth as top personal priorities are significantly
likelier to be more anxious, more depressed and more frequent drug users, and
even to have more physical ailments than those who set their sights on more
intrinsic values. Researchers looked
into whether more sexual variety led to greater well-being. Across men and
women alike, the data show that the optimal number of partners is one. A
study tracked
the success of 147 recent graduates in
reaching their stated goals after graduation. Some had “intrinsic” goals, such
as deep, enduring relationships. Others had “extrinsic” goals, such as
achieving reputation or fame. The scholars found that intrinsic goals were
associated with happier lives. But the people who pursued extrinsic goals
experienced more negative emotions, such as shame and fear. They even suffered
more physical illnesses and complaints . The problem with extrinsic goals – money,
pleasure and fame is that a person's intrinsic needs like deep
relationships are not being met. There
is temporary pleasure and satisfaction that is addictive. He needs to taste
more pleasure and fame to compensate an ' emptiness and unhappiness.' Mark
Spitz says he suffered an incredible emptiness after the 'high' of winning 7 Olympic
gold medals was gone. Fame is not only a problem for Celebs . With Facebook ,
Blogs, likes, friends and visits, a minor form of fame-seeking is within each
person's reach. And that makes us unhappy – we share our fake lives and get
upset when we do not have not enough
friends, likes or hits like the other guy. We love things and Use people.
What about the 'poor man' who has
his eyes on the moneyof some rich miser who certainly is not so happy to part with his
money.? Is the poor man transgressing – your shall not covet and desire your
fellow's money ? R' Isaac Sher explains that the poor man wants to find favor
in the eyes of the rich man. He wants relationship and love. He wants the rich
man do help him because he loves people. His eyes are not on the money , but on
the heart of the rich man.
The Dalai Lama
gives good advice , it is better to want what you have than to have what you
want. And this will help us to Love People and Use things and not
Love things and Use People.
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