tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32469389706808995242024-03-12T21:21:05.037-07:00Allan Katz- Parenting by the BookAllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.comBlogger165125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-69990679837368368632016-10-25T09:47:00.000-07:002019-07-05T07:37:20.207-07:00Bereishit - Mistakes are our friends <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">R' Shimon ben
Pazzi pointed out a contradiction in a verse. The verse says ' And God made 2
great luminaries - lights … and immediately the verse continues ...
the greater light and the smaller light. The moon complained to God by
saying how can 2 kings wear one crown, how can the sun and the moon rule the
skies together. God acknowledges the moon's objection by answering -Go then and
diminish yourself. The moon complains – because I made a proper and valid point,
must I make myself smaller? God then tries to appease the moon because of its
grievance and says that the moon will rule also during the day- we see the moon
during the day, the Jewish calendar follows the moon, and great people will
compare themselves to the moon. The moon is not appeased and consoled until God
says to the children of Israel – on the new moon bring atonement for me for
making the moon smaller. Only here with
regard to the new moon sin offering, is it emphasized that the sin offering is
a sin offering for God. – Hulin 60:b</span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">תלמוד בבלי מסכת חולין דף ס/ב </span><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> - </span><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">רבי שמעון בן פזי רמי כתיב ויעש אלהים את שני המאורות
הגדולים וכתיב את המאור הגדול ואת המאור הקטן אמרה ירח לפני הקב"ה רבש"ע
אפשר לשני מלכים שישתמשו בכתר אחד אמר לה לכי ומעטי את עצמך אמרה לפניו רבש"ע
הואיל ואמרתי לפניך דבר הגון אמעיט את עצמי אמר לה לכי ומשול ביום ובלילה אמרה ליה
..... זיל לימנו בך ישראל ימים ושנים ........זיל ליקרו צדיקי בשמיך ......חזייה דלא
קא מיתבא דעתה אמר הקב"ה הביאו כפרה עלי שמיעטתי את הירח והיינו דאמר ר"ש
בן לקיש מה נשתנה שעיר של ראש חדש שנאמר בו לה' אמר הקב"ה שעיר זה יהא כפרה על
שמיעטתי את </span></div>
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<span lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> הירח</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="HE" style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The Talmud
here is problematic because we cannot associate with God mistakes, admitting
mistakes and a need for atonement. The
commentators talk about not taking this piece literally and that we are talking
about a parable, where the moon is a metaphor for the people of Israel. One commentary suggests we bring atonement
before God and not for God. Another
commentary suggests that there are important lessons to be learned from this
text. God is compromising Himself in order to teach us-</span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span> דרך ארץ </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">derech e'retz – the way of the world, that when a
master needs to punish or discipline a servant, he should try and compensate
and appease the servant. This is an important lesson even for parents who try
to parent in a collaborative and ' working with ' way and find mutually
satisfying solutions to problems. Sometimes we have to insist on kids doing
things our way and thwart their autonomy.
We should then try to appease them and compensate for their loss of
autonomy in other areas. Before the creation of man, God consulted with the
angels about creating man. God did not need to consult the angels. He did so in
order to teach the way of the world </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">דרך ארץ,</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> derech e'retz
that people with power should consult with their subordinates. Maybe, here God
is trying to teach us an important lesson – that making mistakes and admitting
to them is part of creation, learning and the growth process. Also we see that Teshuva
– the process of repentance whereby we admit mistakes and make amends, was
created before the world was created. Mistakes are part of the learning process
and arriving at the truth, without them there is no progress. - </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">אין עומדים על דברי תורה עד שנכשלים בהם </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> - we don't become
proficient in Torah until we make mistakes.
Mistakes indicate that our actions were lacking. They can be lacking
because we did something wrong or they can be lacking because they lack a
certain quality, energy or engagement etc. In a sense God's actions were lacking
when he created a physical universe that could not live up to spiritual ideals
and He had to make the moon smaller and that its light would totally disappear
at certain times of the month. In an ideal world both the sun and moon could
share their crown by focusing on a unity of purpose and serving the ultimate
king and ruler God. Then, there would not be a problem of idolatry – sun
worship – as the sun alone did not rule the skies. When we have materialism, human
fallibility and weakness, jealousy and arrogance, 2 kings cannot share one
crown. The Maharal explains that what was lacking in the creation of the moon
was not only its lacking in size, but the light from the moon, because of the
phases of the moon would eventually disappear towards the beginning of the
month. The atonement – kapparah for this lack of light would be the removal of
this lack, shortcoming and inadequacy by man bringing the sin offering at the
moment when there is no light from the moon. The sin offering does not come as
a punishment or a consequence for a mistake in attempt to appease and placate
an angry God, but it is a means to focus on our humility and inadequacy like
the moon on Rosh Chodesh – the beginning of the month and connect to God. A man
who thinks he is a gadol, a great luminary is unable to repent and do teshuva. The
word sacrifice in Hebrew is 'korban – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">קרבן </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> ' becoming closer to God and in this way he brings
more spiritual light to the world. The imperfection and compromise in the
moon's capacity now became the catalyst for more light and growth and in this
way man would begin to remove the lack until in time the lack is removed and
the glory of the moon is restored. We pray for this in the Kiddush levanah –
sanctification of the moon prayer – ' may it be the will of God to fill the
flaw of the moon that there will be no diminution in it. May the light of the
moon be like the light of the sun and like the light of the 7 days of creation,
as it was before it was diminished as it is said – the 2 great luminaries. '<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The Bible has
examples of great people who gained credibility when they admitted mistakes and
did teshuva – repented – the brothers of Joseph, Yehuda, and David. In a
political climate and an educational system where mistakes are punished we need
more than these examples. We need God to teach us the way of the world – derech
e'retz that not only does admitting mistakes
and doing teshuva gives people credibility , but mistakes are part of
the learning and creative process. In today's world and punitive environment, we
would never have had the opportunity to learn from a king David how to repent and
do teshuva and see the courage of Yehuda as he was prepared to expose his
vulnerability and admit his mistake. Yehuda
was given a leadership role because of this courage. The approach of punishing
mistakes rather than encouraging the admitting of mistakes and doing teshuva promotes immoral
behavior, lying, cover-ups and hoping that issues will simply die , impacts on the
public system, schools and families. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">In academic
learning we need to go beyond the right answer to a deeper thinking. Jerome
Bruner said – Knowing is a process, not a product. Confusion, mistakes and the more
sophisticated the mistakes lead us to deeper thinking. Ted Sizer said that good
schools promote displays of incompetence in order to help students find their
way to competence. The focus should be on the student's thinking on how they
got the answer and not the answer itself. Good teachers will challenge students
with questions and even mistaken ones. In this respect, God himself did
something similar. The Gemorrah Bava Metzia 59a relates a halachic dispute
between Rabbi Eliezer and the sages. Rabbi Eliezer calls upon the carob tree, a
stream and the walls of the study hall to perform miracles in order to prove
that he was right. He then said, </span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">‘If</span></span><span style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"> the
law is as I say, let it be proved from Heaven,’ whereupon a heavenly voice
cried out: ‘Why do you dispute with Rabbi Eliezer, seeing that in all matters
the law is as he says!’ But, Rabbi Yehoshua arose and exclaimed: ‘It [the law]
is not in heaven’ (<em><span style="border: none 1.0pt; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; padding: 0cm;">Devarim</span></em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>30:12).
What is meant by this? Rabbi Yirmiyahu said: ‘It means that the Torah has
already been given at Mount Sinai; we pay no attention to a heavenly voice,
because You, God, have long since written in the Torah at Mount Sinai, “One
must incline after the majority” (<em><span style="border: none 1.0pt; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; padding: 0cm;">Shemot</span></em><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>23:2)'”</span><span style="background: white; font-family: "helvetica" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
</span><span style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">“Rabbi Nathan met Eliyahu [the prophet, who is considered to be
immortal] and asked him: ‘What did the Holy One, Blessed be He, do at that
moment [when Rabbi Yehoshua declared that he would not obey His heavenly voice]?’
He replied, ‘He smiled [with joy], saying, my sons have defeated me; my sons
have defeated me'.</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"> Students who are
afraid of making mistakes are unlikely to ask for help when they need it,
unlikely to feel safe enough to take intellectual risks and are unlikely to be
intrinsically motivated. For the sake of deeper learning and understanding God
deliberately makes a mistake to challenge man's thinking and in a sense admits
his mistake by acknowledging Rabbi Yehoshua's thinking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">We need to
change our attitude to mistakes and see that mistakes are our friends that give
us opportunities for growth, teshuva and arriving at the truth. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-84330281060614273192016-09-29T00:53:00.002-07:002016-09-29T00:57:35.507-07:00Netzavim 76 - Rosh Hashana and the Power of Community <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background: white; font-size: 12.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">On the last day of his life, when Moses is about to
hand over the leadership to Yehoshuah, the nation appears in its full presence,
standing erect – 'nitzavim' committed and accountable to God and the mission of
the Torah. Moses, on the one hand sees them all standing together and then emphasizes
10 subgroups and divisions in the nation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-size: 12.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">You are all standing this day before the Lord, your God
the leaders of your tribes, your elders and your officers, every man of Israel,
your young children, your women, and your convert who is within your camp both
your woodcutters and your water drawers</span><span style="font-size: 12.5pt;"> –
Dev 29:9<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span> <span lang="HE">(ט) אַתֶּם נִצָּבִים הַיּוֹם כֻּלְּכֶם
לִפְנֵי יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵיכֶם רָאשֵׁיכֶם שִׁבְטֵיכֶם זִקְנֵיכֶם וְשֹׁטְרֵיכֶם כֹּל
אִישׁ יִשְׂרָאֵל:</span></span><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;"> </span><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">(י) טַפְּכֶם נְשֵׁיכֶם וְגֵרְךָ אֲשֶׁר בְּקֶרֶב
מַחֲנֶיךָ מֵחֹטֵב עֵצֶיךָ עַד שֹׁאֵב מֵימֶיךָ:</span><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt;">The question
is - why mention the different social classes, strata, cultural levels, rank
and status in the nation? Inequality and social divisions cause friction,
poverty and crime and certainly do not promote a caring and unified society.
The educational system perpetuates the inequality with the rich getting an
engaging and rich education and the poor a ' test prep' education. John Dewey
saw the possibility of ' vocational training ' doing the same.<span style="background: white;"> John Dewey said -' there is a danger that vocational
education will be interpreted in theory and practice as trade education: as a
means of securing technical efficiency in specialized future pursuits.
Education would then become an instrument of perpetuating unchanged the
existing industrial order of society, instead of operating as a means of its
transformation. The desired transformation is not difficult to define in a
formal way. It signifies a society in which every person shall be occupied in
something which makes the lives of others better worth living, and which accordingly
makes the ties which bind persons together more perceptible—which breaks down
the barriers of distance between them. '</span>The barriers between people are
broken down when people see others as contributing to the society they live in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt;">Moses gathered
the people together to re-affirm and re-commit to the ' brit – covenant ' made
at Sinai. But this covenant went further; it was based on mutual responsibility
and accountability. People not only had a responsibility for their fellow men,
but were now also accountable for the open and not hidden sins of others. –Dev
29:28 ' </span><span style="background: white; font-size: 12.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">the hidden things belong to the Lord, our God, but the
revealed things apply to us and to our children forever: that we must fulfill
all the words of this Torah.</span><span style="font-size: 12.5pt;"> </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">הַנִּסְתָּרֹת
לַיהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ וְהַנִּגְלֹת לָנוּ וּלְבָנֵינוּ עַד עוֹלָם לַעֲשׂוֹת אֶת כָּל
דִּבְרֵי הַתּוֹרָה הַזֹּאת<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt;">Members of
society are bound together by the covenant which is based on mutual
responsibility and caring and also being accountable for the failings of
others. So Moses' list suggests that people are responsible and accountable according
to their influence in society. Leaders whether political, spiritual, business and
educational can affect many people, parents and teachers can impact on spouses,
colleagues and children. Children and workers can impact on their peers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt;">In order to
prevent a sense of arrogance Moses reminds the people, that they are all standing
before God. They are all equal in the eyes of God. The Alshich says that this idea
– that people need to be humble, and not be arrogant because of their status or
achievements, is expressed in the following Halacha- legal point. If a great and
wise sage is forced to kill a thief, the sage has to give up his own life as
the Talmud says – The Sage cannot say that his blood is redder than the blood
of the thief.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt;">The Midrash
commentary says that when the nation stands together erect – ' </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">נצבים היום ככלכם </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.5pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>' they are
unbreakable and can withstand and weather the greatest and most difficult
challenges. A young child can break a reed, but when reeds are united in a
bundle, they can withstand any force and are unbreakable. The Midrash adds that
the nation is guaranteed redemption and survival if they are united.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">We noted above that when people perceive the
contribution of others, they are more able to bond with them. What about
identifying and feeling empathic with people who don't make a contribution or
even people who impact negatively on society. On Succoth we bind together and wave
our Lulav - 4 species in all directions. </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">The Kabbalists say that the four
species of the Lulav represent four different types of Jews: The Etrog ( yellow citron) has a
good taste and a good fragrance. It represents a person with both wisdom (Torah
learning) and good deeds. The Hadas (myrtle) has a good fragrance, but is
inedible. It represents a person who has good deeds, but lacks wisdom. The
Lulav (date palm) is edible, but has no smell. This represents the person with
wisdom, but without good deeds. The Aravah (willow) has neither taste nor
smell. It represents a person with neither good deeds nor Torah learning. On
Sukkot, we gather these four species, bind them, and wave them all together.
The Lulav is only kosher if all four species are taken together. If one of the
species is missing, the entire Lulav is invalid.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A similar principle is taught by the composition of the incense brought
in the Holy Temple. There were 11 ingredients, of which one, the <i>chelbanah</i> spice,
smelled terrible. Yet, the incense was only valid if all the ingredients were
included together. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The ' community ' only has power to save and impact positively on people
if everyone is included in the community. If the a'ravah- willow = the person
with no good deeds or Torah learning, or the chelbonah – the person who makes a
negative impact are excluded from the community, we don't have a community.
When the a'ravah and chelbonah are included, they justify the existence and
mystical powers of a community. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">On Rosh Hashanah – New Year and Day of Judgment, our repentance – Teshuva
begins when we stand erect, make a commitment and unite in a community to anoint
God as the ruler over us. We pray to be inscribed in the Book of Life and that
God should have pity on us as frail beings that are inclined to sin and grant
us life. These additional prayers would not normally be permitted to be said in
the first 3 blessings of the 'A'mida or
18 blessings prayer. They are reserved for the praise of God and not for
requests. However, these additions of the repentance period are permitted
because they plead for the entire nation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The power of community depends on structures being in place that promote
cooperation and pro-social behavior and certainly not competition. A school is
also a community of learners. To create community, children need to be brought
into the process; each level or grade in school should be involved in
activities that benefit not only peers, but the whole school and beyond the
school impacting on the wider community. Questions of discipline should not
focus on the consequences for the individual child because of his inappropriate
behavior, but help him reflect how his behavior impacts on others and the community.
He should be asking and reflecting – what type of community do we want. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-13923127800016456682016-09-20T16:34:00.001-07:002016-09-21T02:23:39.370-07:00Ki Tavo 76 The Downside of an Attitude of Gratitude <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Our parasha
talks about 2 commandments that required people to go to Jerusalem. A landowner was obligated to bring his first
ripened fruits –' Bikkurim' to the temple and present them to God's representative,
the Kohen-priest. This ritual included a moving declaration and expression of
gratitude to God, for being a protector ……and having brought us to the land of
Israel and having given us the land of Israel, a land flowing with milk and
honey…….As the farmers made their way to Jerusalem, they were met by
delegations from the various towns and cities who greeted them with praises and
psalms to God. The procession was accompanied by music and plenty of happiness
and joy. </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">There is the obligation to separate tithes
from food and give to the Levite and poor and also separate food –'</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">ma'aser sheni ' for personal use – to be
eaten in Jerusalem or be redeemed</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">and
the money spent on food in Jerusalem. The purpose of the mitzvah was to
encourage people to visit Jerusalem and the temple and benefit from the
learning, prayer and the spirituality of the city.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The Midrash
commentary notes that the Torah begins with the word Be'reishit - in the beginning
which can be also read – for the sake of the first. The world was created for
the sake of the' firsts' – for the sake of the nation of Israel or the Torah
that are called Reishit – first. Likewise the word was created for the sake of the
mitzvah of the first crops – bikkurim. Gratitude is a trait that is fundamental
to the sustainability of the world, central and vital to interpersonal
relationships, our relationship with God (not that God needs our thanks) and
our relationship with the physical world. Our lives and achievements are made possible
by the contributions and help of so many people and primarily because of God's
assistance and direction. In order to express gratitude we need to have
humility. People showed gratitude and solidarity with the farmers by going out
to greet them on their journey. In Jerusalem, people would include the Levite,
the convert and poor in their celebration of gratitude. They would rejoice and make others happy.
The Torah is making a connection between gratitude and happiness. An attitude
of gratitude brings happiness, but true gratitude to God is not just the thank
you and expression of gratitude but using the God given gifts to benefit others
and inviting the less privileged to join in your celebration. True joy and happiness
is a result from giving to the needy and making others happy. True gratitude
demands both expression of thanks and action.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">ושמחת
בכל הטוב אשר נתן לך יהוה אלהיך ולביתך אתה והלוי והגר אשר בקרבך</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>:</span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span> עשיתי ככל אשר צויתני", שמחתי ושימחתי בו</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>.</span><span lang="HE" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Gratitude is very much on the self-improvement, personal
development scene because of the research done by Dr Emmons who studies the
science of gratitude. Gratitude helps people counter negative thoughts and
complaining. It puts an end to self-pity, jealousy, bitterness and regret. It
leads to good health, a stronger immune system, lower blood pressure, as well
as more joy and pleasure. People who kept a gratitude journal for just 3 weeks
measured 25% higher on life satisfaction. They exercised more, they drank less alcohol
and their families and friends noticed that they are nicer to be around and the
effect lasts several months beyond the initial 3 week trial period. The act of
writing things down that you are grateful for will instantly change your mood.
While expressing gratitude by writing a letter or communicating and interacting
with people is a good thing to do in a moral sense, the new gratitude gurus are
stressing the benefits for us and that gratitude makes us feel good. A lot of the advice and gratitude exercises
suggested can be undertaken without human contact – thank someone mentally ,
keep gratitude journal, count your blessings, mediate and for those so inclined, pray. Consider this advice from a
yoga instructor. “Cultivate your sense of gratitude by incorporating giving
thanks into a personal morning ritual such as writing in a gratitude journal,
repeating an affirmation or practicing a meditation. It could even be as simple
as writing what you give thanks for on a sticky note and posting it on your
mirror or computer. To help you establish a daily routine, create a
‘thankfulness’ reminder on your phone or computer to pop up every morning and
prompt you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">The author </span><a href="http://barbaraehrenreich.com/"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none;">Barbara
Ehrenreich</span></a><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;"> sees this as the downside or selfishness of
gratitude. Who is interacting here? ' You' and 'you'.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">' So it’s
possible to achieve the recommended levels of gratitude without spending a
penny or uttering a word. All you have to do is to generate, within yourself,
the good feelings associated with gratitude, and then bask in its warm,
comforting glow. If there is any loving involved in this, it is self-love, and
the current hoopla around gratitude is a celebration of onanism.' She notes
that the conservative leaning John Templeton Foundation , a foundation that
promotes free-market capitalism, has been funding gratitude research of more
than 8 million dollars, yet the foundation does not fund projects directly to
improve the lives of poor individuals, but it has spent a great deal , through
efforts like these , to improve their attitudes. ' <o:p></o:p></span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Another problem with gratitude, particularly between people with
different power and status – boss and employee, teacher, parent or child, is
that gratitude - especially when 'praise' is also expressed - can be experienced as
judgmental and controlling. Judgment even if positive is judgment. The person
with power is grateful that his subordinate has jumped through his hoops. A
Boss once expressed gratitude and praise to an employee for her work. She
replied – please remember your words when you write me my pay- cheque at the
end of the month. Instead better to focus on the deed and action and not on the
person. Offer neutral feedback and ask questions so the employee speaks and
reflects on what she did.<o:p></o:p></span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">Barbara Ehrenreich suggests that we have a more vigorous and inclusive
sort of gratitude, that for e.g. includes all the people that make our meals possible
and taking action and expressing ' solidarity' with their demands for better
pay and working conditions.<o:p></o:p></span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;">We see clearly from the mitzvoth of Bikkurim- first fruits and eating
the Ma'aser Sheni – 2<sup>nd</sup> tithes in Jerusalem, that gratitude needs to
be accompanied by pro-social actions and interactions between people. When
gratitude is just an ' attitude' the focus is on the self and an expression of
selfishness. It is based on the most primitive form of morality, do good
because it feels good, and offer thanks and express gratitude because if you
don't reciprocate people won't give you anything or help you. If we are
grateful to God and thank Him, but don't act in the world as a partner and be of
service to others, our praises and thanks take the form of sacrifices and
offerings that God despises. True gratitude is emulating God's ways – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">והלכת ברכיו מה הוא חנון אף אתה תנון מה הוא רחום
אתה רחום .....</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> - Just as God's is
gracious, be gracious, just as God is compassionate, be compassionate, kind and
generous etc., etc. <o:p></o:p></span></h3>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-41061971605699788792016-09-14T22:46:00.000-07:002017-09-02T10:47:46.193-07:00Ki Teitzei 76 - Leaving the Egypt within us behind <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-size: 12.0pt;">Our Parasha contains 2 of the 6 commands
to Remember - </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">שש זכירות </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> . Remember what God... did to Miriam, on the way, when you were
leaving Egypt - is a warning not to engage in ' lashon ha'ra – slander, gossip
or any other evil speech. Miriam was punished for her unfair criticism of
Moses. It was not the traditional form of la'shon ha'ra, speaking badly about someone,
but just as bad, saying that Moses was not as great as he thought he was, and
should act in the world like his brother Aaron and herself .It was an attempt to
dampen the enthusiasm, awe and respect for Moses as a great leader, teacher and
personality. </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">זָכוֹר אֵת אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ לְמִרְיָם
בַּדֶּרֶךְ בְּצֵאתְכֶם מִמִּצְרָיִם</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>:<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The 2<sup>nd</sup>
command – is to remember what Amalek did to the you, on the way, when you were
leaving Egypt that he happened upon you on the way …. After the 10 plagues and
the miracle of the Red Sea, the nations of the world were in awe of Israel and
their God, and no one dared to attack Israel. The attack on Israel – an ambush
from behind, showed contempt for God and dampened – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">קרך</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> - the awe
and fear that the nations had for Israel and God. It also dampened Israel's
enthusiasm for their journey to the Promised Land. The attack also dampened their
belief and trust in God. Amalek is symbolic of evil, that might is right, and it
is power that counts rather than belief in God. </span><span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">זָכוֹר אֵת אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה לְךָ
עֲמָלֵק בַּדֶּרֶךְ בְּצֵאתְכֶם מִמִּצְרָיִם: אֲשֶׁר קָרְךָ בַּדֶּרֶךְ</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The structures
of the verses are very similar. We have the command to remember, what happened
…, on the way, when you were leaving Egypt. The Israelites had already left Egypt,
so 'when you were leaving Egypt and being on the way', must be referring to a
spiritual journey. The word in Hebrew for Egypt is </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">מצרים. </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> The root of the word is </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">מצר,</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> a strait –
indicating the limitations and confines of one's personal weaknesses that hold
one back from attaining true spiritual freedom. Attacking people, whether
physically – Amalek or verbally – Miriam is symptomatic of a being a slave in Egypt,
a slave to passions and self-interest. Moses complained - because there were
informers amongst the children of Israel who had told Pharaoh about Moses' crime
of killing the Egyptian, the Israelites were not worthy of redemption. The conflict and lack of unity among the sons
of Jacob led to the years of slavery and bondage in Egypt. The lashon ha'ra and
evil speech depicted the relationship between Joseph and the brothers. The
brothers, not only dampened Joseph's enthusiasm for his dreams - here comes the dreamer,
but actually sent him into exile. We are always struggling with our limitations,
our constraints, our personal Egypt. And it is for this reason, that we have a
Pesach – Passover once a year, not as a time to celebrate the Exodus, but as an
opportunity to overcome our limitations and constraints, our personal Egypt and
find true spiritual freedom. In fact, this is a theme of the Seider night, the
first night of Passover. We dip our vegetables twice. Once to signify the first
' dipping' in the Torah, when the brothers dipped Joseph's coat in blood,
symbolizing hatred, conflict and a lack of unity and dipping a 2<sup>nd</sup>
time, signifying the dipping of the bundle of hyssop in blood, the bundle- agudah
symbolic of unity and brotherly love,
hyssop – symbolic of humility, a character trait that helps people connect with
each other and not be judgmental. We may have left Egypt, but Egypt has not
totally left us and we still struggle with issues of gratuitous hatred – sin'at
chinam which is manifested by lashon hara – evil speech and other attacks on people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Parenting and
teaching is an area where depending on our view of children we can either see
them as allies or trouble makers. We can see them as allies in our attempts to ' work with them' and create an engaging and
vibrant learning environment and a caring –cooperative classroom. Or we can
focus on classroom management to keep control and get kids to learn and follow
instructions. If we have a negative view of children we tend to speak badly
about them and dampen any enthusiasm for learning and pro-social behavior that
is intrinsically motivated. We have a view of children that they are not
interested in learning and would rather play and talk to their friends all day.
The only ways we can get them to listen and learn to is trying and motivate
them by having tests, quizzes, grading work, offering rewards and giving
punishments for not doing homework or not staying on task. The important goal
is to have complete control of the classroom and manage behavior so that kids
sit quietly and listen. This further undermines and kills any interest kids
might have in learning and at most kids will learn only if something is on the
test and will try and get the best possible grade with the minimum amount of
effort. And of course, they forget all they learned after they sit for the
test. Instead of focusing on how well they are learning and remembering information,
we can focus on helping kids become ' long life learners' whose learning is
driven by questions, problems and projects. In this way, we help kids connect
to learning and focus on what they are learning. Kids are born with a natural
curiosity to understand and make meaning of and find relevance in the world
around them. Once kids leave kindergarten where learning is more child-directed
and the teacher is there to stimulate the child, there interest in learning is
destroyed and enthusiasm for learning is dampened.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">When it comes
to socio-moral learning we can invite kids to reflect on what kind of classroom
they want and what rules and expectations would be needed to achieve that goal.
Or we can hand out a list of rules and consequences on the first day which of
course will dampen any enthusiasm for learning. We can choose to solve problems
and deal with issues and unmet expectations by cooperating and collaborating
with children to solve problems or we can ignore their perspectives and
concerns and give consequences and punishments to motivate kids to behave. A curriculum where kids participate in
deciding on content and how best to assess the work and cooperate, a curriculum
which is engaging and relevant helps create a positive atmosphere with no
behavior problems. We think that rewards motivate kids to behave and learn, but
they just motivate them to get more rewards, be less compassionate and just
think – what's in it for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">A negative
view of kids simply dampens any enthusiasm we may have for them or any belief
that they can be our allies in helping them grow and learn. We need to justify
this negative view so we look for the bad in them to justify our view point. We
also then have the Pygmalion effect, a self-fulfilling prophecy where kids will
live up to our expectations of them. - </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">כמים הפנים לפנים, כן
לב האדם לאדם</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> Proverbs 27:19 </span><span style="background: white; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">"As in water, face to face, so, too, is the
heart of one person to another</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">'<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-69373654699068929562016-09-07T16:07:00.002-07:002016-09-07T16:07:47.542-07:00Shoftim 76 - Learning and action-good deeds , what drives what ? <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background: white; font-size: 12pt;">'When you besiege a city for an extended
period, to make war against it to capture it, do not destroy its trees…... for
you may eat from them, and you shall not cut them down, - for is the tree of the field a man? or,
for man is like the tree of the field – (2 ways to read this), that you should
besiege it? Only the trees which you know are not trees for food may you
destroy and cut down, in order to build bulwarks against the city that makes
war with you, until it falls. (Devarim 20:19-20)</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: David, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">כי תצור אל עיר ימים רבים להלחם עליה לתפשה לא תשחית את עצה
לנדח עליו גרזן כי ממנו תאכל ואתו לא תכרת כי האדם עץ השדה לבא מפניך במצור</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>:<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="https://draft.blogger.com/null" name="דבריםBפרק-כ-{כ}"></a><b><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; color: #2d68b0; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;">{</span></b><b><span lang="HE" style="background: white; color: #2d68b0; font-family: "David","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">כ</span></b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><b><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; color: #2d68b0; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>}</span></b><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: David, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">רק עץ אשר תדע כי
לא עץ מאכל הוא אתו תשחית וכרת ובנית מצור על העיר</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></span><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Our verses
deal with times of war and it is in this context that we are warned to preserve
fruit trees. Man acts in a most destructive way against the planet -his home in
times of war. Today, when chemical and atomic warfare is available and has been
used, this message is very relevant. IS the tree of the field a man that he can flee
into the besieged city ? or why make war
on trees ? - they are non-combatants. We can read this as a statement, not a
question - for man is like the tree of
the field – for man's life is dependent of the fruit of the tree and there is a
promise that after the war you will eat from the tree. The exception to the
rule - trees that
don't bear fruit or give food, may be cut down for a purpose ( building). The prohibition of meaningless destruction of
tress is extended to not unnecessarily destroying or wasting objects called the
laws of ' bal tashchit ' - do not destroy. The cutting down of forests – non-
fruit bearing trees can have a negative ecological impact on the environment
and man's future, so forests need sustainable management that takes into
account their regenerative capacity. Fruit
bearing trees can be cut down if there are good reasons justifying this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The statement
– for man is like the tree of the field is seen by Sages as a metaphor – man
can be compared to a tree. Psychologists use the ' tree drawing test ' that reveals something about personality. The trunk represents the sense of
who you are and how intact your personality is - a small trunk – you feel weak,
a large trunk, you have more strength. The branches are like your limbs
symbolizing the efforts you make to connect to the world and support your needs
to survive. Leaves and fruit are symbols of productivity. Roots show a sense of
security and being in touch with reality.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The Mishna
from Pirkei Avot – Ethics of Our fathers 3:17 <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">כל שחכמתו מרבה ממעשיו</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">למה הוא דומה, לאילן שענפיו
מרובין ושרשיו מעטין</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">והרוח באה ועוקרתו והופכתו על
פניו</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">אבל כל שמעשיו מרובין מחכמתו</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">למה הוא דומה, לאילן שענפיו
מעטין ושורשיו מרובין, שאפילו כל הרוחות שבעולם באות ונושבות בו אין מזיזין אותו
ממקומו</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-size: 12pt;">Anyone whose wisdom exceeds his good deeds,
what is he comparable to? To a tree with many branches and few roots; comes a
storm and uproots it, and turns it on its face. But one who's good deeds are
greater than his wisdom, to what is he compared? - To a tree with many roots
and few branches, whom all the storms in the world cannot budge from its place.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Here,
the roots of the tree are compared to a man's good deeds and actions and the branches
– the head of the tree are compared to a man's learning, wisdom and Torah. What
feeds, secures and the source of man's wisdom - are his good
deeds and actions. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">הגמרא ב</span><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">קידושין מ:</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="http://www.yeshiva.org.il/responsa/Responsa.aspx?sefer=%D7%91%D7%91%D7%9C%D7%99-%D7%A7%D7%99%D7%93%D7%95%D7%A9%D7%99%D7%9F&perek=%D7%9E&pasuk=%D7%91" target="_blank"></a></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>. </span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">שאלה תלמוד
גדול או מעשה גדול? נענה רבי טרפון ואמר - מעשה גדול. נענה רבי עקיבא ואמר- תלמוד
גדול. נענו כולם ואמרו- תלמוד גדול, שהתלמוד מביא לידי מעשה</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>.</span><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The Gemorrah
in Kidushin 40b asks – what is greater - Learning or mitzvoth - actions. R' Tarpon
answered – actions, R' Akivah answered – Learning is greater. Then all the Rabbis
in the study hall answered – learning is greater because it leads to action. A
person in essence is his Torah – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">תורתו</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>, a live, dynamic and walking Torah scroll
.He can be described as a tree of dynamic knowledge and when he does mitzvoth
and good deeds, he is giving expression to his inner being, he is giving
expression to his Torah, a Torah which he has internalized and integrated, a
Torah which is part of his personality. The tree is his wisdom - his Torah, and
his good deeds, mitzvoth and actions are the fruits of his learning. The tree
is greater than the fruit. From this Gemorah,
the source of a man's good deeds is his Learning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Our Mishnah
from Pirkei Avot sees good deeds as ' roots' feeding, securing and driving learning
whereas our gemorrah in Kidushin sees learning as the source of our actions and
the driving force to good deeds, mitzvoth and actions. So how can we reconcile
the two statements? We have learning and actions – what drives what? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">There is an
obvious question on our Mishnah's statement – 'how can good deeds should exceed one's wisdom'. ? We
usually act on our knowledge in our order to pursue any planned action, so
wisdom always exceeds one's deed. The opportunities for learning are many, both
formal and informal, but opportunities for action are more limited. R' Yonah
explains that when the Israelites made a sincere commitment to bring the Pascal
sacrifice, the Torah credited them as if they did it immediately. A general
commitment to fulfill God's commandments and mitzvoth, even those that one has
not yet learned, is credited by God as if one has already done the action. This
makes one's actions greater than one's knowledge. So what drives learning is a desire to learn to be active in the world
and a commitment to action. It is a
desire to answer questions related to actions and good deeds, solve life's problems,
act in the world, and be of service to man and to serve God. The Gemorah in
Kidushin sees man as the Torah within himself. His ultimate desire, like the
pianist who wants to perform before an audience in a great concert hall, is to
give expression to his learning and act on his learning. The Gemorah in Menachot 98 says that '
sometimes the stopping and not learning Torah to do mitzvoth is the very
foundation of the Torah ' - </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">שביטולה של תורה זהו יסודה-קיומה </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span lang="HE" style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">פעמים</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>. Action and good deeds drive learning and give
it direction while the learning itself builds Torah personalities who want to
give expression to their Torah and do mitzvoth in the world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">What drives
the educational system is getting good test scores rather than teaching kids
relevant material so they can act in the world. Learning should be driven by
questions, problems and projects. It is about being in the world and acting in
the world. Once they are involved in answering questions, solving problems and
doing projects we can really assess true learning. There is no need for a test and in the end we have ' exhibitions of their mastery' and children who have
internalized and integrated their learning, burning with desire to share their learning and
give expression to their learning by doing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-75085092932219882042016-09-01T00:39:00.000-07:002018-04-23T22:40:30.052-07:00Re'eh 76 - Internalizing the reasons of the Mitzvoth - commandments <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">In our parasha,
Moses reviews the dietary – Kashrut laws that deal with forbidden animals,
birds and fish etc. Two of
the birds listed are the </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">עורב </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>= the raven and the Chasidah - </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">חסידה </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">which is translated as
the stork, but there is uncertainty here. Amongst the forbidden animals we have
the pig – and the Sifra commentary notes that 'one should not say that his soul
loathes and is disgusted by pig's meat, but say – I would indeed like it, but
what I can do, my Father in heaven has imposed these decrees on me.' <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span dir="LTR" style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">"</span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span> אי אפשי לאכול בשר
חזיר אבל "אפשי ומה אעשה ואבי שבשמים גזר עלי כך</span><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">We can respond
in this way concerning the </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">חוקים </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> -
statutes which are commandments that have no rationale comprehensible to the
human mind, but when we are dealing with laws between man – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">משפטים </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> we don't say I have no problem with killing,
stealing or hurting but what can I do my Father in Heaven has imposed these
decrees on me. Human intelligence </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">הערה השכל </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span lang="HE" style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">will
lead us to conclusions about the underlying values, what is right and wrong
with regard human interactions etc. . . . After the receiving of the Torah we
are inspired and guided by the Torah – </span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span> <span lang="HE">הערה התורה </span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">to discover new reasons and spiritual dimensions to
the commandments. The reason we observe
the commandments and accept the authority of a commandment, irrespective of our
understanding, is that it is the will of God. R' SRH explains that the Torah
laws are like the laws of nature; they exist independent of our investigation
or understanding. However, even though we cannot hope to figure out and
understand the divine intelligence or God's motives, we have to reflect on the laws,
contemplate them and offer reasons wherever possible and this includes the </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">חוקים </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>– laws where
the apparent reason is hidden. The
reason for doing the mitzvoth - </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">טעם לצמות
</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">is God's will, the reason in the mitzvoth,
</span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">הטעם במצות </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">is the underlying
value and our intention. The sages give us some understanding as how the
mitzvoth should impact on us - to refine mankind, </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">לצרף הבריות </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">and promote psychological,
social and spiritual improvements etc. The study of the reasons of the mitzvoth
– </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">טעמי המצות,</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span lang="HE" style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">their
underlying values and goals, gives us a deeper understanding and helps us make
our actions more meaningful and qualitatively better. Our hearts, mind,
thoughts and intentions are the soul of the physical action and God primarily
wants our hearts - </span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span> רחמנא לבא בעי. </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Our emotional and spiritual growth depends on the internalization of
the values underlying the mitzvoth and incorporating the commandments into
one's personality. A successful mitzvah depends on understanding the underlying
value and goals and injecting the physical action with soul so we connect also
emotionally and spiritually to the mitzvoth. In this way, we shape our instinct
and inclinations so that we fulfill the words of Proverbs 21 the soul of the
evil person desires evil, the soul of the righteous person rejoices in acting
justly. </span></div>
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<span lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> נפש רשע אותה רע .....שמחה לצדיק עשות משפט </span><span dir="LTR" style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">The Torah
teaches us that the pig is not kosher because it has only one of the 2 kosher signs
– it has a split hoof, but does not chew the cud. The commentary remarks that
the pig is the symbol of the hypocrite. When the pig lies down and crouches, it
spreads it feet out to show us that he is a kosher animal. However, he does not
chew the cud, so his inside is not like his outside. Although we are not
disgusted by pig meat, we are now less inclined to eat pig meat as this would
mean internalizing the negative value inherent in the pig, something that goes
against our values and who we are.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">It is
important to ask children and ourselves - if God would not command us to do
mitzvoth like acts of charity or not to hurt people, or keep the Sabbath, what
would we do? Hamish children were asked – why they should not steal or kill or
keep the Sabbath – they answered: because God said so. They were then asked –
if God had not commanded you to act in a certain way, what would you do? Children who had internalized the values
underlying God's commandments had no difficulty in answering the questions. We
are inspired by our intellects – </span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span> <span lang="HE">הערה השכל </span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">not to hit another person and by the Torah –</span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">הערה התורה,</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> not even to
raise a hand. We honor and respect
parents but the Torah go further and equate the honor of parents with the honor
of God. With all our learning and intellectual abilities we acknowledge that
our understanding of the Divine will is limited and ultimately do the mitzvoth
because we submit to the Divine will and intelligence. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The Torah
lists the Chasidah and the o'reiv – the raven as non-kosher birds. The Chasidah
or questionably known as the stork is called the 'chasidah' = the righteous one
is because it displays kindness – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">חסד</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> towards
others of its species by sharing food with them. If it is so compassionate why it
is stigmatized as a non-kosher bird – the answer is that it directs its
kindness exclusively to its own kind and will not help other species. Its
generosity and compassionate is driven and motivated by self-interest and
expediency rather than by true altruism.
We find that the raven – </span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span> <span lang="HE">עורב </span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">also did acts of kindness. Although the raven refused to
carry out his mission while in Noah's ark and check if the flood had subsided so mankind could resettle the land, the ravens
were responsible for the Prophet Elijah's survival by bringing him food in the
morning and evening. After Ahab had questioned God's credibility - the nation
was not punished with famine or drought because of their idol worship, Elijah
called on God to punish the nation with a drought. The Maharal explains that
the ravens had an ulterior motive. Their actions were not motivated by the
desire to do good to Elijah, but they wanted the nation of Israel to suffer. If
Elijah lacked food and water, he would have asked for the famine to stop.
Although their actions could be defined as acts of kindness, their evil
intentions and motivations redefined the action. The way people cheat and
deceive others is that they first build trust and confidence by doing acts of
kindness and helping others. Once they have that person's trust and confidence,
they can empty out their bank accounts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Instead of
promoting intrinsic motivation, doing the mitzvoth and learning because they
have intrinsic and inherent value - the reward of a mitzvah is the mitzvah-
good deed itself, a sin or bad deed is punishment in itself - we drive learning
and pro-social behavior using rewards, grades, praise, consequences and
punishment. Not only is internalization
and commitment impaired, but at best we promote the lowest form of morality –
if you do this you will get that, and one also encourages cheating and
dishonesty in order to get the reward. We also convert the value of a spiritual
act with all its emotion and intention into money. There is a blind belief,
that if we get kids to do an action for the wrong reason, they will, in terms
of the Talmud, come to do it for the right reasons. This is only true when the Lo lishma – doing things
not for the sake of Heaven is Lishma – for the sake of Heaven. The child wants
to do things because they have inherent value and for the sake of Heaven, but
he feels he needs some extrinsic motivation to help him reach his goals. It is
much easier to get children to comply and do things by ' doing to them ' and
promising them rewards. It is far more difficult to engage kids so they can
reflect about the reasons of the mitzvoth, how they impact on others, how they
represent his values and who he is as a person.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-37815134030482498302016-08-24T16:32:00.004-07:002018-05-06T00:27:46.799-07:00Ekev 76 - What you resist, persists - the case for positive education <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">In our parasha,
Moses continues to encourage the nation to trust in God to ensure the
successful conquest and settlement of the land. In order to help the nation
build trust in God and see God as the source of their success and power, Moses
describes God's care and providence. God protected them from the hardships of
the desert,' HE fed you the manna, your garment did not
wear out upon you and your feet did not swell' – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">ויאכילך את המן, שמלתך לא בלתה ורגלך לא בצקה </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span lang="HE" style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">. Moses reminds them that the goodness comes with
challenges and hardships in order to prepare them for life in the land of
Israel. In order to survive in Israel, one needs a high level of faith and
trust in God and life in the desert </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">למען ענתך לנסותך, ויענך וירעבך ויאכילך את המן, כאשר ייסר איש את בנו</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> - living a life dependent on miracles, not
being able to store food for the next day and or do anything that will give
life some certainty and predictability, prepared them for life in Israel. They
should know that this path was for their benefit. Moses then warns about the
dangers that prosperity brings – arrogance, self- aggrandizement and self-
glorification. This leads to forgetting God and saying ' it is my strength and
the might of my hand that made me all this wealth'. Ultimately this leads to idolatry,
going after the gods of others. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">כֹּחִי וְעֹצֶם יָדִי, עָשָׂה לִי אֶת-הַחַיִל הַזֶּה</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>.</span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span> וְהָיָה,
אִם-שָׁכֹחַ תִּשְׁכַּח אֶת-יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ, וְהָלַכְתָּ אַחֲרֵי אֱלֹהִים
אֲחֵרִים</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The first
question is that on entry into the land of Israel, the children of Israel are
commanded to destroy all manifestations and vestiges of idolatry as it would be
unbefitting that idolatry should exist in God's palace, the land of Israel. So
why is Moses so concerned about idolatry, if the land has been cleaned out of
any temptations and enticement? The 2<sup>nd</sup> question – prosperity allows
people to be independent rather than dependent on God and so people attribute
their success to their own efforts and beings, rather than God's support, so why
would people then subjugate themselves and submit to idols. ? R' Isaac Sher
gives 2 answers. At a time when there existed a passion for idolatry, people
had the power to use these negative forces of idolatry to improve their
materialistic situations. The second answer - when a man attributes all his
success to his own doing, he is denying God's role and he begins to worship
himself. A person who is rude and coarse, gets angry – thinks he is a god and
people have to listen to him. A person who is arrogant and self-glorifies
himself is involved in idolatry = uvoda zara. An atheist or non-believer, even
though he does not believe in anything but himself is also an idolater. When one
puts his trust in others and flatters people with power - </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">החונף </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">he is considered worse
than an idolater. A person who is an idolater's slave is considered as if he serves
idolatry. The verse in Judges 10: 6 gives a list of gods of the surrounding
nations that the children of Israel worshipped and served. </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">ויעבדו את הבעלים ואת העשתרות ואת אלהי ארם ואת
אלהי </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-size: 12pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">צידון ואת אלהי מואב ואת אלהי בני עמון ואת אלהי
פלשתים</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The Midrash connects this
idolatry to the children of Israel's laziness and lack of effort in prayer. R'
Isaac Sher explains that when people do
not tire from activities that serve their interests but are tired when it comes
to prayer, it means that the nation places
more value and trust in political agreements and alliances with the surrounding
nations than prayer, and that people have more faith in their efforts than in prayer.
When this happens – it is as if the nation serves the gods of these nations and
people who cheapen prayer do the same. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Although there
is a commandment to clear out and destroy idols and manifestations of idolatry,
the thrust of Moses' speech is positive, focusing on building trust and
relationship with God. If you have a problem with idolatry, the underlying
problem is your relationship with God. The problem is mainly within man and not
outside of him, so we focus on building personalities rather than engineering
the environment so there is not temptation or enticement. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A similar problem - a
man is overcome with lustful thoughts when he is certain environments. The
Talmid= student of R' Chaim Volozhin, the Keter Rosh wrote down the teachings
of his mentor. He writes about a man, (most likely unmarried) who had a problem
with impure thoughts when he sees women. In order to deal with his problem and
fight his lustful thoughts he decides to make a vow not to look at women. If he
breaks his vow and looks at a woman, his desire will burn inside him like a
fire. The situation is much worse, since he fought reality and energized the
negative action he was fighting. Instead, he should accept the reality and pray
for God's assistance and mercy in dealing with the challenges as he
ventures into the market place. He is
not told to avoid the market place. R' Moshe Feinstein said– if a person is
challenged by public transport he should know he has a problem and work on
himself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="HE" style="color: #500050; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">כתר ראש ארחות חיים קצה</span><span lang="HE" style="color: #500050; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> ] הסתכלות עריות ושיחתן אמר זה הכלל כל
מה שינדור א״ע ויפרוש מראיה אח״כ אם יראה ויביט יבער בו היצר כאש, אלא
כשדעתו לילך בשוק יתפלל ויבקש רחמים לבל יכשל ח׳יו בשום נדנוד חטא והרהור עבירה
ר׳ל</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #500050; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="color: #252525; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">כתר ראש - הנהגותיו שנכתבו בידי תלמידו של ר, חיים מולוזהין רבי אשר הכהן משערשוב.</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">When we are dealing with children we need
to give them structure and make the environment safe and protect them from e.g.
bad diet – sugar and the media. The
solution for adults – engineering the environment beyond the demands of Halacha
– Jewish Law so that the environment will be free of any temptation or challenges
has many downsides. The focus is no longer on positive education and building righteous people who can overcome challenges,
but on creating a sterile environment and fighting the external threats to a
person's spirituality. There is another problem – when you fight ' evil', you
actually support and strengthen ' evil' as Carl Jung said - 'what you resist persists'.
</span><span style="color: #252525; font-size: 12.0pt;">The answer is to accept reality and not to fight reality and
then focus on positive steps and education which will help you change reality. </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">' 'What you resist , persists' - means
that if a person has a character flaw – lustful thoughts , or he has an anger problem
or he has food or drink problems, the more the person fights the reality, the
bigger the problem becomes. He has ' energized the problem and given it center
stage in his life. Instead of going away, it fights back and persists. If a man has bad thoughts, he can use the
principles of Mindfulness – acknowledge his thoughts, put them aside and then
focus on his breathing and then something else. If he tries to resist these thoughts,
they fight back and persist. </span><span style="color: #252525; font-size: 12.0pt;">He should be building his personality
so his mind is occupied with ideas or being mindful of what he is doing so he
is not distracted. He should try to see the image of God – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="color: #252525; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">צלם אלוקים </span><span style="color: #252525; font-size: 12.0pt;">in each person and relate to their contribution to society
instead of focusing on their gender. </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">If he breaks his diet , resists and fights back by being over-critical of himself, full of shame , he
will ultimately give up , and say ' what
the hell and then he will go on the binge – eating and drinking without any
restraints.</span><span style="color: #252525; font-size: 12.0pt;"> So a person with a drink or diet
problem , needs a plan that will focus on what he can eat , replacement foods ,
a new life style instead of focusing of what he should not eat. When he does
fail and breaks his diet, he should have some self- compassion instead of being
over- critical and giving energy to breaking his diet and focus on getting back
on track.</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"> Campaigns against 'talking in
shul ' will be more successful if they focus on positive education and not '
energizing' talking in shul. Campaigns about the dangers of internet and cell phones
tend to cause people to shift blame from people and their relationships or
exploring underlying problems and just blame it all on the internet. People
forget that the most potent and dangerous communication tool is our tongues and
not the cell phone or the internet. Here too, we need to focus on the positive,
what we can talk about and connect with people in a positive way. Even if a
person makes a conservative and restricted choice concerning the media, he has
to remember the downside of resisting and energizing the dangers - the negative
side and focus on positive education. In politics, candidates in election who
focus on the negative of their opponents rather than saying something positive
about themselves, strengthen their opponents. The campaign to remain in the
European Community failed because it focused on negative consequences of
leaving rather than the positive reasons for staying in the community. Instead
of giving a list of what pupils cannot
do in the holidays, a teacher should focus on what they could do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">There is tendency in education to try and
control the environment and people's choices rather focus on positive education
and build people. When the focus is on fighting the negative, we need to
understand the downside – 'what we resist persists.'<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-26528408080628138712016-08-19T06:34:00.000-07:002016-08-19T06:34:06.958-07:00Va'etchanan 76 - Education - For what ? <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The parasha talks about education in the section of the
She'ma - <span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">שמע
ישראל </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> and the exodus –<span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">יציאת מצרים</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>. The purpose of education may be to help a
child serve God and be of service of man, and developing and refining his
character. It also focuses on acquiring a profession or a trade. Today, the notion is that the schools' first
priority should be intellectual development. Prof. Nel Noddings argues that the
main aim of education should be to produce competent, caring, loving and lovable
people. Seymour Sarason speaks about inculcating in the child a desire to
learn, to become a life-long learner. John Dewey, the father of constructivist
education talks about education not being a preparation for life, but life
itself. His colleague William Killpatrick talks about both goals – education
prepares best for life when at the same time it constitutes the present worthy
life itself. <span style="background: white; color: #111111; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Judith Shapiro said - You want the inside of your head to be an
interesting place to spend the rest of your life.</span> There are those
who focus on what everyone their age is supposed to know – E.D Hirsch , as
opposed to others who believe that the
purpose of education is not primarily to help children know more ,
rather , it is to help them become better to be able to think , be reflective
, care , imagine, understand and adapt –
to become autonomous learners. While most parents will agree that education
should focus on the whole child and making him a better person, they and
government officials are more concerned about the economic benefits – being
more competitive in the job market or providing skilled workers to enhance
corporate profits and global competitiveness. The result is that learning for
its own sake and the material learned has little value and what counts is the
graduation certificate or degree. Governments also see education as a means of
fighting poverty and encourage everyone to go to college. The result has been that getting a college
degree can lift one out of poverty and make one financially successful is now
considered a myth- there has been widening gap between rich and poor despite
there being more college graduates , one
out of six college graduates earns less than the average wage of high school
graduates. A college degree, especially a general or an Arts degree helps if
you are born to a rich family, have privilege and connections. A white school
leaver will be more successful than a black college graduate in the USA.
Discrimination, the 'poverty trap' and other structural features of the USA
society are obstacles to the upward mobility of poorer people with education. The
focus should be more on providing jobs with decent salaries. There is also a
call for more ' vocational training.' Vocational training however should also
focus on personal fulfillment, empowerment and promoting all the thinking
skills that come with a good academic education. Otherwise, John Dewey says -there
is a danger that vocational education will be interpreted in theory and
practice as trade education: as a means of securing technical efficiency in
specialized future pursuits. Education would then become an instrument of
perpetuating unchanged the existing industrial order of society, instead of
operating as a means of its transformation. The desired transformation is not
difficult to define in a formal way. It signifies a society in which every
person shall be occupied in something which makes the lives of others better
worth living, and which accordingly makes the ties which bind persons together
more perceptible—which breaks down the barriers of distance between them.
(Dewey, 1916/2001, p. 325)<o:p></o:p></div>
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The parasha on the She'ma says that we should teach our
children diligently– <span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">ושננתם לבנך </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> -
Rashi explains that a person should repeat and review his learning so that if
he is asked a question about Torah, he will not be embarrassed and will respond
immediately. This implies that one should have knowledge of Torah and learn to
know the Torah. <span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: David, sans-serif;">וְהָיוּ הַדְּבָרִים הָאֵלֶּה, אֲשֶׁר אָנֹכִי
מְצַוְּךָ הַיּוֹם--עַל-לְבָבֶךָ</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="background: white;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>.</span> And these words
that I command you this day should be on your heart – this day – we should look
at the words of Torah, not as an old text which we have heard and reviewed many
times, but something new, that generates curiosity and interest so we will be
able to discover new insights and depths of understanding and make meaning of
our learning. The learning should not be academic but touch our hearts and becomes
part of us, internalized and integrated. We should speak in Torah with our
children and pupils – <span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">ודברת בם </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> .
The way we learn is collaboratively, discussing ideas with others and being
challenged by their thinking. In a later
chapter the Torah then tells us how to respond to a question of one's children
about God's commandments <span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: David, sans-serif;">כִּי-יִשְׁאָלְךָ בִנְךָ מָחָר, לֵאמֹר: מָה
הָעֵדֹת, וְהַחֻקִּים וְהַמִּשְׁפָּטִים</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> – that the purpose of
the Exodus was to become God's people in the land of Israel. This alludes to the importance of stimulating children's interest,
curiosity and questions that will drive
learning. In our prayers we ask – <span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">והערב נא ה' ..את דברי תורתך בפינו...ונהיה
לומדי תורתך לשמה </span>That God sweeten the words of his Torah in our mouths
and … we should be intrinsically motivated and study Torah for its own sake. We ask for
understanding that will enable us to ' learn, teach and to do' all the
teachings of the Torah – <span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">להבין ולהשכיל ללמוד וללמד ..ולעשות <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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We seem to have 2 goals – knowledge of the Torah and being
involved in the learning process, deepening our understanding and connection
with God. The question is how we reconcile the 2 goals. This reminds of the 2
approaches to education – the Old School transmission model where kids are seen
as empty pales in which knowledge has to be poured in. Hirsh E.D speaks of a
Core Curriculum for each grade dictating what kids should at the end of each
year. While he acknowledges that thinking is the goal of education one needs a
body of facts to think about. The constructivist approach acknowledges that
knowledge is important, but when the focus is on quantity, the learning is
shallow and the goal is to memorize what has been taught. Not only don't we get
to thinking, but after the ' test' everything is forgotten. Facts should be
taught not in a vacuum , but <span style="background: white;">given a ' context' by questions, problems and projects
.Instead of a Core Curriculum built on different and fragmented subjects and
focused on acquiring knowledge , constructivist education focuses on helping
students understand ideas from the inside out, to learn how to think creatively
and critically, and they involve students in designing a curriculum that’s
organized around problems, projects and questions, trying to integrate skills,
topics and disciplines in a meaningful context and in a multi-disciplinary way rather than one based on feeding them lists of
facts.</span> What drives the acquisition of knowledge are interest, curiosity
and making meaning of the world. It encourages children to be active learners,
have the desire to keep learning, reflecting on and internalizing their
learning. They do not absorb knowledge but ' construct knowledge'. Montaigne
wrote that without a the appetite and affection for learning, children will
become little more than ' asses loaded with books' - <span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">חמור נושא כלים </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>. The kind of
knowledge that children most need is the knowledge that will help them get more
knowledge. Children are taken seriously. We start trying to find out what they know,
what they notice and encourage their questions. The teacher throws in her
questions and complicates matters, challenging their thinking. It is conflict,
whether stimulated by the teacher or peers that challenges thinking, that gets
kids to reflect on their thinking and grow. Learning takes place through
speaking and discussing. Deborah Meier says that teaching is essentially
listening and learning is essentially speaking. In a traditional classroom it
is only the teacher who is doing the learning. In a classroom where the focus
is on learning in pairs or groups, real learning and deep thinking takes place.
When we have children's interest and they find learning relevant, the stage is
set for teaching the thinking skills. Deborah Meier says we
should encourage the 5 habits of the Mind – asking about <u>evidence</u> - how do we know what we know, <u>whose point
of view and perspective</u> , <u>connecting and associating learning, supposition</u>
– how might things have been otherwise, and <u>relevance </u>, why is the
learning important , something to care about. In the classroom kids not only
are given a choice but can generate choices regarding social and learning
issues.<o:p></o:p></div>
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With Talmudic study, we can resolve the conflict by
learning focusing on covering ground and intense deep learning by not answering
all our questions Both types of learning we focus on understanding and asking questions,
we just don't answer all our questions. The Yeshivah and Talmudic environment
preceded the ' constructivist movement ' many centuries. The focus is on collaborative
learning in pairs and groups dealing with questions, problems and case studies.
It is the questions that drive the acquisition of knowledge and deriving the
underlying principles of Talmudic reasoning. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In the modern world education that focuses on personal
development rather than a trade and profession has value also in terms of
employment. People who might not have specific training are employed because
they have critical thinking and analytical skills and can be trained.
Professionals and others in the work force testify how they Talmudic studies
have given those thinking skills, thinking in a multidisciplinary way and
ability to work in teams and collaborate. The Talmud at the end of Kidushin
quotes R' Nehorrai –' I will not teach my son a profession only Torah'. Today,
teaching Torah is not only important for acquiring an education, personal development
and ones relationship with God and the community but also contributes to
critical thinking skills needed in the work place.<o:p></o:p></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-86555678334087842712016-08-10T03:09:00.003-07:002016-08-10T09:54:44.145-07:00Devarim 76 - Conquest or Agreement and Cooperation <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Parashat
Devarim precedes the fast of the 9<sup>th</sup> of Av – Tish'ah be' Av, the day
of national mourning for the destruction of the 2 Temples and exile from the
land of Israel. The reason is because Moses in his final address to the Israelites recalls the ' sins of the
spies ', the root cause of the destruction of the 2 temples and exile. The nation spoke badly about the land of
Israel and expressed a lack of faith in God to conquer the land and support the
life of the nation in the land. The root
of the sins that caused the destruction of the temples and the exile was this
lack of faith and a proper spiritual connection to the land of Israel. As a
result of the Babylonian exile the country lost its Kedushah, holiness and
sanctity, which is expressed by the fact, that the land of Israel is no
different to any other country. There are no agricultural mitzvoth so people
are no longer obliged to separate tithes from the produce of the land or
observe the Sabbatical year – Shmittah when in the 7<sup>th</sup> year the land
lies fallow. This holiness – called the first sanctity = ' keushah rishonah 'was
introduced into the land, when Joshua conquered the land of Israel and the land
was under Jewish jurisdiction. When the land was conquered by foreign nations
it lost its holiness. The city of Jerusalem and the temple mount and temple,
despite being in ruins and governed by foreigners never loses its holiness,
because the divine presence, the source of its holiness never leaves the city, and
thus its ' kedushah rishonah, first holiness remains intact. The Persian king
Cyrus defeated the Babylonians and allowed the Jews to return to Israel under
the leadership of Ezra and build a temple. Ezra re-consecrated and sanctified
the land for a second time and this is known as the 2<sup>nd</sup>
sanctification or ' kedushah sheniyah'. The Rambam – Hilchot Beit Ha' Bechirah
6:16 explains that the 2<sup>nd</sup> Sanctification is permanent and
everlasting even after the destruction of the 2<sup>nd</sup> temple and Roman
exile. The reason is that Ezra's sanctification was not through the conquest of
the land but came about through the formal acquisition of the land when Cyrus
returned the land to the Jewish people and a legal ' Chazakah' was made on the
land. Therefore, even if the land is taken away from the Jewish people by force,
the land retains its holiness – kedushah, because the legal transaction of
ownership through acquisition remains binding. </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">ולמה אני אומר
במקדש וירושלים קדושה ראשונה קדשה לעתיד לבוא ובקדושת שאר א"י לענין שביעית
ומעשרות וכיוצא בהן לא קדשה לעתיד לבוא לפי שקדושת המקדש וירושלים מפני השכינה
ושכינה אינה בטלה והרי הוא אומר והשמותי את מקדשיכם ואמרו חכמים אע"פ ששמומין
בקדושתן הן עומדים אבל חיוב הארץ בשביעית ובמעשרות אינו אלא מפני שהוא כבוש רבים
וכיון שנלקחה הארץ מידיהם בטל הכבוש ונפטרה מן התורה ממעשרות ומשביעית שהרי אינה
מן ארץ ישראל וכיון שעלה עזרא וקדשה לא קדשה בכיבוש אלא בחזקה שהחזיקו בה ולפיכך
כל מקום שהחזיקו בה עולי בבל ונתקדש בקדושת עזרא השנייה הוא מקודש היום ואף על פי
שנלקח הארץ ממנו וחייב בשביעית ובמעשרות על הדרך שביארנו בהלכות תרומה</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>: </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"> It seems a little strange that the conquest of
the land by Joshua and subsequent Jewish sovereignty over the land of Israel
should have less of an impact on the inherent holiness and sanctity of the land
of Israel than the ' autonomy ' that Cyrus granted the returning Jews. In the
verse Deut. 1:8 Moses says to the Israelites –' Behold I have set the land
before you, go in and possess the Land which God swore to your forefathers ….'
The Rashi commentary notes – there is no one who will contest the matter, you
will need not wage a war. Indeed, had they not sent the spies, but trusted in
God's promise, they would not have needed weapons of war. </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">ראה נתתי לפניכם את הארץ באו ורשו את הארץ אשר נשבע ה'
לאבותיכם......רש"י אין מערער על בדבר ואינכם צריכים למלחמה אלו לא היו
מרגלים לא היו צריכים לכלי זיין</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"> Thus, the conquest of the land of Israel was
symptomatic of an inherent flaw and spiritual defect in the children of Israel.
On the other hand, the return of the exiles from Babylon was made possible by the
agreement of the nations to the rebuilding of the temple and a new Jewish settlement
in Israel and tremendous sacrifice and dedication by the new settlers. This
indicated a more spiritual beginning and establishment of Jewish sovereignty in
Israel. This explains why the ' kedushah shniyah ', the 2<sup>nd</sup>
sanctification of the land of Israel was permanent and despite the destruction
of the 2<sup>nd</sup> temple and exile, the inherent holiness of the land
remains intact. The conquest and coercion of Joshua's entry into the land was
preceded by a degree of coercion used at the initial receiving of the Torah at Mount
Sinai. The Sages describe God's coercion as if He was holding the mountain over
their heads forcing them to accept the Torah. The Torah was ultimately accepted
willingly only after the miracle of Purim that preceded Ezra's entry into the
land of Israel. It is this acceptance of the Torah, rather than the acceptance
that occurred at Mount Sinai that binds the Jewish people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Education is
often seen as a ' conquest', and getting kids to do something or engage in
learning. The underlying ' rationale' is that if you ask a kid to do something,
he will refuse and offering explanations and reasons won't help either. Education
begins after the kid has done or learned something. We should then offer
encouragement and help the kid reflect on what he has done and learned. What
usually happens is that the focus is on motivating kids to act and this usually
by being assertive and insistent or using extrinsic motivators like rewards,
grades or consequences. The discussion after an action or learning is usually
about ' how well' the kid acted or
learned , rather than focusing on what the kid has done or learned and helping
the kid connect with the action or learning and become more intrinsically
motivated. Even if the discussion is about what the kid has done or learned,
the coercion or seduction, no matter how small leaves a negative impact on the
child. It is often asked why not use rewards or find something insignificant to
lure kids into reading or doing something and then fade them out later? The introduction of an extrinsic motivator
immediately changes the whole Gestalt – the way a child looks at herself, the
way she looks at the person offering the reward and the way she looks at the
task.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">We can make
children our allies and partners in learning and pro-social behavior, not by
first coercing them and then trying to explain and help them reflect on the
value of what they did, but by focusing on learning and tasks that are
interesting, engaging, relevant and worthwhile. We can support their autonomy
by bringing them into the decision making process about their learning and how
we can transform our school into a caring community. When we don't focus on
control, judgment and evaluation and move the locus of control to the students themselves,
we allow them to connect to their learning, be self-determined and
intrinsically motivated to contribute to the well-being and learning of a
caring community of learners. This is the difference between motivating or
inspiring kids. Motivating kids – your focus is overcoming resistance,
conquering the enemy. Inspiring kids – is supporting their autonomy and
allowing them to connect to their inner cores, be intrinsically motivated to learn and to do
and focused on long-term goals of becoming better and more interesting people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-27003218415919532042016-08-04T02:44:00.000-07:002017-07-21T01:05:24.782-07:00Masei -76 Hypocrisy , Flattery and Authenticity in Education <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: 12.0pt;">In our parasha God warns
the children of Israel about the sanctity of life. Like Noah, who was about to
leave the ark, the children of Israel are about to enter the Land of Israel.
Both are warned to safeguard the sanctity of life – Noah Ber.9:6 </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="color: #666666; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">שופך דם האדם באדם דמו ישפך </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> - Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his
blood be shed – and in our parasha Numbers 36:33<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="HE" style="color: #666666; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">ולארץ </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #666666; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span lang="HE" style="color: #666666; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">לא
יכופר לדם אשר שפך בה כי בדם שופכו </span><span dir="LTR" style="color: #666666; font-size: 12.0pt;">and the land will not have atonement for the blood <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: 12.0pt;"> that was
spilled in it , except through the blood of the one who spilled it.</span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="color: #666666; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: 12.0pt;">A convicted murderer
forfeits the right of existence, the right to dwell on the land. If the act of
murder was unintentional but there was carelessness, the perpetrator is exiled
to a city of refuge and remains there until the death of the High Priest. His
rights on the land are now limited because of his failure to exercise care
concerning the life of someone else. The most serious of situations is –
when a person is convicted for murder buys his freedom .According to the Torah
, it is difficult to get a murder conviction because there is no such thing as
circumstantial evidence. The murder has to be witnessed by 2 witnesses who
warned the murderer before committing the act of murder that it is forbidden by
the Torah and the consequence is that he will be killed by a court if found
guilty. In such a case where the guilty person pretends to be
innocent and the court is guilty of institutionalized hypocrisy and does
not execute the man, the land is made into a ' hypocrite' and 'defiled'. </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="color: #666666; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">ולא תחניפו ...ולא תטמא את הארץ</span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
Torah uses an unusual expression –' don't turn the land into a hypocrite.' A
hypocrite is someone whose actions, external behavior or words don't match his
inner thoughts, core or essence. R' SR Hirsch explains that in the Hebrew, the
root of the verb that the verse uses is </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="color: #666666; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">חנף</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> = cha'naf . This is related to
the word </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="color: #666666; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">ענף </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> = a'naf , a branch of a tree that
supports the fruit that springs from it. The substitution of the letters
'chet' for' ayin' is an expression of negation. What appears to be a branch
does not fulfill its design, promise and mission. It does not bear the fruit
expected of it. It looks like a proper branch, but at its core it is not – like
a hypocrite. The design and mission of the land of Israel is to express its
inner core and essence and produce the blessings of the land, but when it does
not express its potential and is barren because of the acts of man, man has
made the land into a hypocrite. The land is no longer authentic and true to its
mission. ( Ramban, R' SRH)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
problem with this translation –' do not make the land into a hypocrite'
is that in a sense the land is being authentic to its source and inner
core, when due to man's sins it no longer produces and lies barren. It is the
nature of the land of Israel to respond to man's action - with blessings and
plenty of produce in response to his positive actions and with curses and
barren fields when man sins. The Kli Yakar translates
the </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">לא תחניפו </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> ,
as do not cause the land to flatter you, from the word – cha'nu'pah – flattery.
When a person expresses insincere praise in order to get something from another
person, he is flattering him and is therefore acting like a
hypocrite. The Persian King A'hasvei'rosh flattered the Jews by inviting them
to his royal party and they in turn flattered him, by showing their
appreciation and enjoying the hospitality. When the land continues to respond
in a normal way to man's sin and unauthentic behavior and bears the produce of
the land, it is also being unauthentic and hypocritical. When the land in
response does not produce its yield, it is being authentic and faithful to its
mission.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: 12.0pt;">We can
answer - that according to the Ramban and R' SRH the land is made into a
hypocrite when it objectively does not fulfill its ultimate mission to produce
crops and harvest. The Kli Yakar speaks in relative terms – the mission of the
land is to respond to people's actions so when the land still produces despite
man's sin, it is responding to man with flattery.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
antithesis of hypocrisy and flattery is the High Priest. He shows a continuous
interest and concern for his people in his prayers that people should not be
found guilty in court and that people do not sin, be careless and negligent so
people's lives are put at risk and die. He does not flatter or praise people in
order to ' get' but is genuine and authentic. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: 12.0pt;">When it
comes to educating and raising children and students, the focus is on the ' Lo
lishma ', not doing things or learning because they in their essence are
valuable to kids. This is much worse than ' making the land ' into a hypocrite
' or flattering the land. Here, we build kids to be hypocrites and non-
authentic people. We are building relationships that are conditional and kids
and people are only accepted if they perform or behave as demanded. Parents and
teachers are more often than not, not authentic and use flattery to
get kids to jump through their hoops. Parents are told to ' catch them when they
are good ' and then praise them. The praise is used is to flatter kids so they
will be more easy to handle and control. It is not authentic or sincere, but
used in order to get. The problem with praise that even if it sincere it is
experienced as controlling and as judgment by kids. Instead care givers can
help kids reflect on how their behavior has consequences for others, rather
than consequences for themselves and how they can impact on others and their
classroom. Consequences don't help kids to ask – what type of person do I want
to be or does my behavior reflect my inner core values. They are never brought
into a process, where they can participate on what values should guide their
classroom and how problems should be solved. Instead of addressing underlying
problems and concerns of both care givers and children , adults unilaterally
focus only on their concerns and when expectations are not met , use either
positive or negative reinforcements . Rewards, punishments, consequences and
praise don't solve problems; just make sure that the locus of control with the
adults instead of putting the locus of control with kids and helping them take
true responsibility for their education. We want kids to be self-motivated and
inspired by their essence and core values, see value in what they do and not
become dependent on extrinsic motivators and the approval of others. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: 12.0pt;"> The
educational system is driven by extrinsic motivators like rewards, grades,
honor rolls and praise. The focus is on superficial and extrinsic
performance goals such as test scores rather than focusing on the whole child ,
his thinking, intrinsic competence goals ,helping him develop a love for
learning and learning to form his own judgments , getting pleasure in his own
achievements and feeling a sense of competence and self-pride. In
schools, material that is not on the test or won't be graded has no
value. Learning has no value in itself - the focus is to get the highest
score, the easiest way possible. So in order to motivate kids to learn the
focus is on ' how kids learn ' , so there is plenty of praise for high test
scores instead of helping kids focus on what they are learning. Kids
are never asked if they find their learning relevant and meaningful and given a
chance to participate in deciding on a curriculum that focuses on their
questions, interests and curiosity. The alternative to praise or grades
is encouragement and informational feedback - a conversation between the
adult and child where the adult uses responses that describe rather than judge
and asks questions about the process – why the child decided to act or write in
a certain way. The renowned teacher – Joe Bower said that assessment is not a
rubric but a conversation. Praise and flattery is not a conversation , but doing
to kids instead of working with them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-54398257097302383922016-07-26T06:56:00.004-07:002016-07-27T08:57:15.310-07:00Mattot 76 - Anger - Validating concerns, not feelings <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The Parasha talks about
the battle against Midian for the purpose of avenging the harm done to Israel and the slight to, and contempt for God's honor.
After the blessings of Bil'am and the great military victories over the
mighty kings Sichon and OG, the children of Israel felt a certain arrogance and
</span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ובעל גאווה נמסר ביד
יצרו </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> - and arrogant people are controlled by their
desires. In their arrogance –that they were independent and did not need to ask for water from the surrounding nations
- they drank from the well of Shitim without any fear, knowing that the waters
of the well make one drunk with a desire for sexual immorality. This made them fall
to plan of Bil'am and be enticed by the daughters of Midian and commit sexual
immorality and idolatry. As result of sin , many of the children of Israel died in a plague.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> The army is victorious,
destroys cities and takes spoil and captives.
The returning commanders are met by Moses, Elazar and the elders. Moses
gets very angry with the commanders as they kept the females alive.ויקצף משה על פקודי החיל There are
certain values which are greater than life, so you have to give your life and
not commit idolatry, sexual immorality or murder. These women had lost the
right to live as they enticed Israel to commit sexual immorality and idolatry. Moses
had not given the commanders specific instructions as to how to act in the war.
For Him, the whole purpose of the war was to destroy the enticing females. Moses
continues and says' it must have that you have sinned with the females, like in Shitim,
as it is for this reason that you kept the women alive.' The commanders answered
that no one sinned but they still wanted to offer sacrifices to atone for and
make amends for any sinful thoughts. Moses could not help but praise the army
who aspired to high levels of holiness even in war, and achieve the ultimate goal of the
army, conquering the enemy within and without. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Although Moses' anger was justified,
anger has negative side effects – one forgets one's learning and loses one's wisdom. The laws of Kashering of the vessels </span><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 18.4px;"> that were previously used for non-kosher food </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">הגעלת כלים </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> had to be taught by Elazar as
Moses had forgotten them because of his anger .' The purpose is to </span><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 18.4px;">get rid of the absorbed taste of non-kosher food in these pots and pans etc </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">These laws allude to the importance of getting rid
of negative emotions and atoning for sinful thoughts of the returning soldiers.
The returning soldiers are described as ' coming TO the war ' and not from the
war as one's personal struggle with refining one's character is made more
difficult by war, so the battle never ends. – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">הבאים למלחמה
</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span lang="HE" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span>(מנחם ציון )</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>'</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A collaborative problem
solving approach would look like this - Moses:
I see that you have kept alive the women, what's up? The commanders share their perspective or concerns
- the greatest revenge is to take the women of Midian and let them become part
of the national effort of the people of Israel. Moses could then shares his
perspective , corrects their mistaken thinking and gives instructions how to deal with the captive women, deals with the concerns of the soldiers for
atonement and teaches the laws of kashering the vessels. In hindsight Moses was initially justified to feel angry about the situation rather than being angry at the commanders, who although did make a mistake, yet they inspired the army to great spiritual heights.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Although our anger about
an issue shows that the issue is important to us, but how we manage our anger
is important if we want others to internalize our message. The problem with
anger or even attaching threats of punishments or consequences to future
misdeeds is that people don't internalize the actual message and the value
involved. They only remember the anger or threat of punishment. We want people
and especially kids to internalize the value, so the misdeed, the inappropriate behavior,
the sin and the </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">עבירה </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">is the punishment '</span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">עבירה היא העונש '</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">and the good deed or mitzvah is the reward itself- </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">שכר מצווה מצווה.</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So what should we do
about our anger and other emotions and those of our children or students? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It may be important for
us to acknowledge our emotions or feelings and more important ' gut feelings',
but we have to put them aside and evaluate them later at the end of the problem solving process. Identifying feelings doesn't help with the
problem solving process. Some authors talk about validating the feelings and
emotions of children but not validating their actions. 'I see that you are
angry, upset, frustrated when your sister ….. Etc. . . . The problem is that
when we validate feelings we can actually trigger more anger and upset. Talking
about and naming feelings can be valuable in problem solving in that it
may help to convert emotional expression into thinking and we then externalize feelings so we can
put them aside and start solving problems. Trying to solve problems in the heat of the moment and deal with emotions is not a good idea.</span></div>
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<span style="background: white;">'Children
can feel in control of themselves and their world when they can use words and
describe how they are feeling. If a kid has a vocabulary that describes a full
range of emotions he is in more of a position to describe how he is feeling.
Many kids when asked how they feel say things like ' good, terrific, bad,
awful, or terrible. Very few answer ' happy, sad, frustrated, or afraid. When a
kid names his feeling ' I am frustrated ', he then continues to give the reason
– I am frustrated because I have an unmet need, concern etc., he is then in a
position to actually do something about it. A child might do something
different if he feels sad than if he feels frustrated. Just thinking he feels '
bad, terrible or awful will not help him make an informed decision about his
next step. '- Myrna Shure Thinking parent, Thinking Child<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The vital step in collaborative problem solving
is to help the child articulate his concerns or unmet needs and put them on the
table.<span class="apple-converted-space"> In the heat of moment of conflict or a meltdown, when
a kid is struggling with the emotional rush, naming emotions can give fuel to
them. </span>Because naming feelings does not contribute to solving problems,
the focus should be in clarifying and understanding the kids concerns. Out of
the moment - Talking with children about feelings and emotions is important. We
can talk about ' what makes me happy, what do you think makes your sister happy,
sad, and angry, frustrated, disappointed etc. This helps kids to consider other
peoples' views and feelings.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="color: #222222; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
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<span style="background: white;">So
instead of validating feelings, focus on validating concerns and needs which is vital for collaborative problem solving.</span></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-22681686139472235332016-07-18T10:43:00.001-07:002016-07-20T04:12:02.063-07:00Pinchas 76 - The most important word in the world - YES <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-size: 12.0pt;">In our parasha a census of the men takes place
in preparation for the distribution of the land of Israel amongst the tribes.
The daughters of Zelophehad came forward with their complaint. Because they had
no brothers, their family would be without a share in the land. They therefore
requested a share in the land among their father's brothers. Moses brought
their claim before God- Hashem. God answers Moses with a YES to their claim.
- </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">כן בנות צלפחד
דברת </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> . The word Yes here implies that they have
spoken right, properly, exactly, they have made a fair claim and they should be
happy as God agrees to their words.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-size: 12.0pt;">When it comes to relationships the word YES is
the most powerful word in the world .As we have seen the word yes can
communicate many meanings – Yes, I agree... Yes, you are right, Yes, that is a
great idea, Yes, .. I understand you. The psychologist John Gottman suggests
that we try to introduce as many yesses as we can into our conversations. We
can answer Yes, that's a good idea, or Yes, that's a great point, Yes, I hear
you.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 12pt;">Yes, means agreement and connection. Yes passes
on your power and presence to the other person, your friend, partner, your
spouse and child, your team and employees. God answered the daughters of
Zelphehad with a Yes and transferred His power and presence to them.</span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Dr Dan Siegel
asks us to notice how we feel when we read these words, no, no, no, no,no,no, and how
you feel when you read these words, yes, yes, yes, yes,yes,yes,yes …. When you hear no, you
feel scolded, stressed, alone and start breathing heavy. When you hear yes, you
feel relieved and relaxed. Yes makes us more receptive and when we are more
receptive presence can created, which is vital for thriving relationships.</span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-size: 12.0pt;">Yes opens the doors to collaboration, cooperation and co-creation. The question is – does the word Yes have a role to play in resolving conflicts and problem solving .? The advice that parents regularly hear is to say ' No' a couple of times during the day, so that kids learn that they can't get everything that they want and they learn to accept the No word. For
many challenging kids saying NO triggers the cortisol hormone which puts the
child in the ' fight – flight mode. 'What follows is kids either go ballistic,
explode or implode accepting that their parents don't consider that they have
legitimate concerns or feelings. There is the assumption that parenting is
about win-lose scenarios , kids resisting parental control and parents trying
to get kids to do what they want them to do. If we really want our kids to '
hear us ', hear our concerns and experience learning when they interact with
us, we need to help them live by Hillel's words - If I am not for myself, who
will be for me and if I am only for myself, who am I. ? We need to help them go
through the thinking process and make meaning of what is happening, we need to
get them talking and reflecting, exploring situations and addressing both their own concerns and the concerns of others. Saying
No is essentially only one solution to a concern or a problem. Because the
solution only addresses the parents concern we are using Plan A, imposing Adult
will on the child. Traditionally kids have never had
their concerns heard. Some parents will empathize with a kid and validate their
feelings or concerns but at the same time demand compliance. They do so, just to
make compliance easier for kids to swallow. This is called ' Perfunctory empathy,
not true empathy. Kids need reassurance, that when we use collaborative problem
solving - Plan B that we are not trying to force a solution, </span><span style="color: #222222; font-size: 12.0pt;">but we first
want to hear their perspectives and concerns and work on a mutually satisfying
solution that addresses all concerns. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-size: 12.0pt;">- <span style="background: white;">I like the phrase - ' I am not
saying No '<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">Of course this does not mean I am saying yes, it
means ' I just want to hear your concerns, can you tell me more?' Our purpose
is to get a conversation going with the child mainly speaking and us listening , and focus on solving the problem.When the solution addresses the concerns of parents, we have in fact set a limit with the child.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-size: 12.0pt;">The psychologist Dan Wile says that we can manage conflict with
a Yes. We don't have to say – ' I am not saying No' – we can say Yes and yes, I
will seek to understand your problem before I seek to solve it. Yes, I will
work to cultivate empathy for your point of view. Yes, I will respect your
dream. Yes, I will dialogue with you, even when I disagree with you and try to
solve problems in a mutually satisfactory way. Yes, I will remember to talk to
you like I talk to somebody I love. So we can introduce what we say with a yes,- yes , I hear you … Yes , can you tell me more, Yes, I am concerned that …. Yes
makes us more receptive, gives us presence and helps us connect with kids
crucial for the CPS - collaborative problem solving process.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-size: 12.0pt;">For sure, there will be situations when compliance is vital and
we say –' you have to or you can't.' Children are more likely to comply with parental demands ,if
parents generally focus on cooperation and allow children to participate in making
decisions, rather than demanding obedience all the time. Kids will trust their
parents and comply even if they are a bit unhappy about it, because in the past
their parents solve problems in a collaborative way, give
reasons for their positions and take into account kids' concerns and best
interests... God in his Torah does the same. He builds trust by sharing reasons
that man can understand, but there is also </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">חוקת התורה – פרה אדומה </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="color: #222222; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>- the decree of
the Torah, the law of the Red Cow, which is beyond our understanding and so
beyond criticism.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-size: 12.0pt;">In situations which are non-negotiable, we can still have discussion
and try and be as non-confrontational as possible,- make the request and back
off to give them some space, which helps maintain autonomy and dignity. We can
give them a choice of how to do the request, when or with whom. We can validate
their feelings and be honest that our request is not much fun. We can try and
compensate for loss of autonomy in other areas and respond with many yesses.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-20991505899668729332016-07-07T01:39:00.000-07:002016-07-07T10:26:47.807-07:00Chukat- Balak 76 Self-control and Self-discipline <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In our parasha, the
children of Israel, defeat Sichon and capture the capital city of Cheshbon. Sichon had captured the city Cheshbon from
Moav with the help of the curses of 2 famous sorcerers Bil'am and his father
Be'or. The Torah relates this with the words –Numbers 21:27 Regarding this the
poets- those who speak in parables - would say Come to Cheshbon ….</span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">עַל כֵּן יֹאמְרוּ הַמֹּשְׁלִים בֹּאוּ
חֶשְׁבּוֹן</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>
The Talmud Baba Batra 78b translates ' moshel ' as ruler and ' cheshbon ' as an account or
calculation . The righteous people who have attained mastery over and rule their
evil inclinations proclaim – make an account and a calculation. They live their
lives with thought and circumspection. They calculate the loss or cost involved
in doing a mitzvah against its profit and the gain of a transgression against
its loss and calculate the impact of their actions on the world. </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "narkisim" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">על כן יאמרו המושלים וגו' המושלים אלו המושלים
ביצרם בואו חשבון בואו ונחשב חשבונו של עולם הפסד מצוה כנגד שכרה ושכר עבירה כנגד
הפסדה</span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The Talmud talks about
the value and virtue of self –regulation, having self- discipline and self-control.
Self-discipline is about marshalling one's willpower to accomplish things that
are generally desirable and worthwhile, while self-control is using the same
willpower to stop oneself from sinning, doing something undesirable or to delay
gratification. In educational circles, the famous Marshmallow test by Walter
Mischel and its conclusion echo the same message. Children were left alone in a
room after having been told that they could get a small treat – one marshmallow, by ringing a bell at any time to summon the experimenter or if they held out
after his return they would get a bigger treat – 2 marshmallows. Children who had
better self –control and could delay gratification, scored better on measures
of cognitive and social skills about a decade later and also had higher SAT
scores. Mischel says that home
environment and not the ability to delay gratification might have been
responsible for the children's achievement found 10 years later. Also, it was </span><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 18.4px;">the ability to distract themselves and focus on something else and </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> not grim determination,
self-control and will-power that helped children to wait longer. One cannot engage the evil inclination
head on, but we have to use </span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL" style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span> </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">תחבולות</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>,
tricks and other strategies. The Talmud Baba Batra 78b says that those people
who can control their evil inclinations do so, by engaging their thinking,
their prefrontal cortex, rather than their emotional and animal brains.
They focus on values and do a cost-benefit analysis of their actions or plans and make an account or calculation,
not only for themselves but for the world as a whole. In delaying gratification and not sinning,
the reward may be in the distant future in the world to come, but when we do
good God supports us in this world so that we can do more mitzvoth and good - </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">מצווה גוררת מצווה. </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">What's more important than a future reward is the intrinsic reward of
doing the mitzvah itself– </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">שכר
מצווה מצווה</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>.
The Talmud goes further and takes us out of the realm of the ' self 'and self -interest
, even if the focus is on spiritual
self- interest. The Talmud says; make a calculation, an account for the world.
As an individual you can tip the scales of the whole world by doing a mitzvah. Our actions can impact on others, the
community and society in either a positive or negative way. A concern for the
community and a spirit of altruism should be guiding our behavior , and help us overcome any temptation.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In schools, there is a
new focus to help children acquire ' grit' – the power of passion and
perseverance. It is quite understandable that we should want kids to be able to
persevere and persist at worthwhile tasks, but is grit a character trait that
should be promoted by teachers without qualification - as a character trait that can stand alone? </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Grit is problematic in
its own right in that not everything is worth doing, let alone for extended
periods. Persistence can be counterproductive and unhealthy when a problem
resists solution or persisting in a task no longer provides satisfaction and
also one can end up with missing out on new opportunities. In schools the focus
is on test-scores and compliance so ' grit' teaching promotes these limited goals and the focus on the process of learning, discovery,
curiosity and collaboration, experimenting and being more interdisciplinary
etc is pushed aside . When goal is
persistence and it does not matter if the student's learning is driven by
interest and passion, by a competitive spirit where others kids are seen as obstacles in your way to success or a desperate need to prove
competence. The problem is that schools are focused just on fostering persistence and perseverance and ignore passion. Not all kids have the resources to find their passion, or teaching,
coaching and mentoring to inspire them to keep digging in. The solution is not
just in the individual kid, being able to persist and persevere but providing
the ' structure' and resources that support passion and perseverance. And even
when kids do display grit and do well in school, it does not guarantee a future
if grit does not come with privilege. Kids need ' agency', the ability to
leverage opportunities to change their circumstances, to acquire social capital
and connections that will open doors for them. While children might believe
that education works on the whole, he or she might not think that it works for
him or her and that depends a lot on parent's level of education and whether
peers are dropping out or graduating from school and furthering their studies.
The Talmud Nedarim 81A says that educators should be zealous in teaching the
poor and providing them with the resources and opportunities to succeed. This
is learned from the verse in parashat Balak, Numbers 24:7 - Water = (the Torah) will drip from its
well = mi'dalyo. We read this like mi'dalim, from poor people. </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">הזהרו בבני עניים שמהן תצא תורה שנאמר יזל
מים מדליו – מדלים ,שמהן תצא תורה . </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span lang="HE" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></span></div>
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<span lang="HE" style="color: blue; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Unlike the rich who can be very focused on what they have, the poor focus on who they are as people who love learning so they have the potential to become great Torah scholars.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In Parasha Balak, Bil'am
says of the children of Israel –That God - He perceived no iniquity in Jacob, and saw no
perversity in Israel Numbers 23:21 </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ל</span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ֹלא הִבִּיט
אָוֶן בְּיַעֲקֹב וְלֹא רָאָה עָמָל בְּיִשְׂרָאֵל</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>. The word a'mal =
perversity has a second meaning – toil, work that is exhausting and laborious. Bil'am
says that God sees no exhaustion, toil or drudgery in Israel's service of God
and the learning and study of the Torah. Because they are whole-heartedly
devoted and dedicated to doing the mitzvoth and learning Torah, and they do so with
a passion, they are therefore tireless in its pursuit. Their passion fuels
persistence and perseverance. And when
there are challenges and obstacles in the way, self-discipline supports the
intrinsic motivation and passion for what we do. Intrinsic motivation and passion is promoted when kids
feel self-directed, autonomous, and competent and have a sense of belonging and
support.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Self-discipline and
self-control must be expressed in the context of a passion for values, of doing things that
are worthwhile and making a contribution to others. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-50498643414266916852016-06-29T11:21:00.002-07:002016-06-29T12:18:44.129-07:00Korach 76 - Safety in Schools <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">The evil
report of the spies caused a crisis of faith in God, the leadership of Moses
and Aaron and in land of Israel as a national home. In response, God decreed that people over the
age of 20 would die in the wilderness. The people became disillusioned. They no
longer had a goal and destination - Moses and Aaron in a sense had failed in
their mission. This was an opportune moment for Korach to unite people who felt
wronged by the fact that they had been passed over in the allocation of
leadership positions. Korach felt wronged and aggrieved that Aaron , Moses'
brother was appointed instead of him to the position of high priest - an act of unacceptable favoritism and
nepotism, or when his cousin Elizaphan ,
the son of Uziel was placed in charge of
the Kohite family, thus making him Korach's superior and giving him that position which Korach felt was rightfully his. The tribe of
Reu'vein, as descendants of Jacob's firstborn felt they were entitled to
leadership positions. The group of 250 leaders were firstborn who still felt
wronged that after the sin of the golden calf, the role of special service in
the sanctuary passed from the firstborn to the tribe of Levi. The rebels
challenged Moses and Aaron in the name of democracy and egalitarian values. 'All
of the community is holy, all of them...
Why do you raise yourself above the Lord's congregation? </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-size: 12.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="HE" style="color: blue; font-size: 12.5pt;">וַיִּקָּהֲלוּ
עַל משֶׁה וְעַל אַהֲרֹן וַיֹּאמְרוּ אֲלֵהֶם רַב לָכֶם כִּי כָל הָעֵדָה כֻּלָּם קְדשִׁים
וּבְתוֹכָם יְדֹוָד וּמַדּוּעַ תִּתְנַשְּׂאוּ עַל קְהַל יְדֹוָד<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> Everyone should have an equal opportunity to
be a leader. Everyone should have the opportunity to be close to Holy of Holies
and close to God.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Moses initially proposed a simple
test that should have discouraged the rebels and put an end to the rebellion.
The rebels and Aaron would bring incense- ketoret in their pans. A non-priest=Kohen who offered incense is
liable to death at the hands of heaven.
Those people, who would survive the test and are spared from death, are
God's choice to occupy positions in the Mishkan- Sanctuary. Moses tried to make
peace and resolve the conflict by going to the tents of Da'tan and A'viram. They
received Moses with contempt, ridicule and insults. Moses felt that the
situation could get out of control. The honor and validity of the Torah and the
authenticity of his prophecy was at stake. He sought an immediate and dramatic
solution from God. He asked, that in order to prove that it is God that has
sent him - the ground should split open and swallow up Korach and his
followers. As soon as he had finished
speaking the ground opened up and swallowed Korach and his followers. A flame
came down from Heaven and consumed the 250 men who were offering the incense.
After Moses' prayer had been answered in this dramatic way and he had been
proved right, we would have expected that this would have put an end to the
rebellion and vindicated Moses, but not so. 'Things became worse. The next day, the <u>whole community</u> of
Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron. You have killed the Lord's people, they
said. (</span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-size: 12.5pt;">ו) וַיִּלֹּנוּ כָּל עֲדַת בְּנֵי
יִשְׂרָאֵל מִמָּחֳרָת עַל משֶׁה וְעַל אַהֲרֹן לֵאמֹר אַתֶּם הֲמִתֶּם אֶת עַם יְדֹוָד</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>: A
plague breaks out and Moses tells Aaron to go out between the people with the
incense – the ketoret, which had previously being the cause of death - and stop
the plague by atoning for the people. Then God instructs Moses to take 12 staffs,
one for each tribe and leave them overnight in the Tent of the Meeting – sanctuary.
The next morning, the staff bearing the name of Aaron had sprouted, budded,
blossomed and borne almonds. It was only then that the rebellion ended, not
because of the ground opening up and swallowing the rebels or a fire consuming
the 250 leaders, but seeing a dead piece of wood, come to life, sprout, blossom
and bear fruit. Aaron and his tribe were now seen as symbols of renewal and
hope, dedicated to the growth and the flowering of the people. The new mission
of the people was to raise a new generation of almonds that will enter the land
of Israel and build a national home dedicated to the service of God. The
conflict was over, but people still did not feel safe, fearing that they might by
mistake step out of the courtyard and enter sections of the sanctuary only
permitted to the priests and Levites and incur the death penalty. Guards are
appointed to protect people from entering forbidden areas.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">The
obvious lesson is that conflict is not resolved by using force and that people's
concern for safety need to be addressed. As teachers and principals we cannot
make our schools safer by adopting a tougher ' zero- tolerance ' approach to
school violence and aggressive behavior. While some educators do admit that these
policies don't help the offending student, but they are needed to motivate others
students to take note and behave - </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-size: 12.5pt;">למען יראו וישמעו </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> - that they should see what will happen to them if they step out of line. Not only do students in schools that adopted
zero- tolerance policies report feeling less safe, but schools were actually
less safe after adopting these policies. Kids feel threatened and unsafe in an
environment when problems are solved by adults in a unilaterally way using
threats and punishments. The alternative is show love and unconditional
acceptance and help the student solve problems in a collaborative way,
addressing the underlying issues and lagging skills, the concerns of both
parties by finding mutually satisfying solutions and helping the student engage
in an autonomous way in the moral act of restitution and do Teshuva – repent. If we focus on teaching replacement behaviors
or skills we can lose sight of the human being behind the actions and the
reasons, values and motives that give rise to those behaviors. We cannot talk
about good character and midot and still foster a competitive climate where
kids are ranked according to test –scores and come to see others as obstacles
to their success. . We need to create a school which is a caring community – where students
know and trust adults and kids are known and trusted by adults. If a school is
a place that meets students' needs, there is less chance that someone will be
moved to lash out in fury. In a caring community students will feel a sense of
connection and belonging to others, feel also intellectually and emotionally
safe without fear of being laughed at, picked on or excluded by other students.
A caring community helps kids ask – what type of person do I want to be and
what type of classroom or school I would like and be inclined to act in a caring and responsible way? Of course, teaching and learning which is cooperative ,relevant and valuable in its own right to students, will contribute to the atmosphere and safety of a school.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Safety is
about trust and human relations and building an environment that promotes
pro-social behavior and solves problems in a collaborative way. And that is why
God chose Aaron and his tribe of Levi. Aaron is the symbol of someone dedicated
to peace and conflict resolution, giving life and hope to all. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.5pt;"><span style="color: blue;">.</span><span style="color: #333333;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-55685298201989556432016-06-22T02:10:00.001-07:002017-06-15T07:59:37.427-07:00Shelach 76 - 9th Av - Giving up on children <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: medium;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">The evil report of the
spies convinced the whole nation including the elders and the Sanhedrin- the
High court to abandon their journey to the land of Israel, because the Holy Land
was a dangerous place that 'devours its inhabitants'. This led to dissention,
national hysteria, despair, anguish, and a helplessness etc. Numbers 14:1 says
and they cried and wept that night – the eve of the 9<sup>th</sup> of Av. </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">ויבכו העם בלילה ההוא </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>–God
declared that since they cried for no reason on this night, therefore in the
future, I shall provide you with plenty reason to cry on this night, for I will
destroy the Temple on the 9<sup>th</sup> of Av. The physical destruction of the
Temple and the exile of the nation among the peoples of the world was just a
physical manifestation of the underlying spiritual condition of the
people. R' Isaac Sher explains it was
the loss of Da'at , a deep understanding and perception that touches the depths
of one's heart , that leads to a belief , trust and faith in God. It is a
commitment to be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice of giving up one's life
and using all one's senses and feelings in the service of God. We declare this
faith- emunah in God and our commitment in the She'ma Yisrael prayer.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: medium;"><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">שְׁמַע
יִשְׂרָאֵל יְדֹוָד אֱלֹהֵינוּ יְדֹוָד אֶחָד:
(ה) וְאָהַבְתָּ אֵת יְדֹוָד אֱלֹהֶיךָ בְּכָל לְבָבְךָ וּבְכָל נַפְשְׁךָ
וּבְכָל מְאֹדֶךָ:</span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: medium;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">And according to the
Midrash on the verse Eichah – Lamentations I: 15 ' It is on these things that I weep ' R'
Yehudah says because of the removal and loss of Da'at and the Divine Presence,
which are essentially the same thing as R' Ela'zar says, that any man who has
de'ah – knowledge is as if the temple has been built in his days. </span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: medium;"><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">על
אלה אני בוכיה רבי יהודה אומר על סילוק דעת ועל סילוק ש</span><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">כינה ואמר רבי אלעזר כל אדם
שיש בו דעה כאילו נבנה בית המקדש </span></span></div>
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<span lang="HE" style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: medium;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">A person who has Da'at –
deep understanding and perception will have faith and trust in God. He will declare
in the Song – A'don O'lam, </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">והוא נסי</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>, that
God is my banner and source of miracles. No situation can cause despair and
helplessness because in God's reality, things can change at any moment. In the bleakest and darkest moments during
the Holocaust people who had great faith experienced miracles when death was a
certainty and survived . Others who did not survive managed to achieve eternity
by giving up their lives and sanctifying God's name with the great dignity and
purpose with which they approached death. Over the centuries families and even
communities have suffered great hardships and tragedy that evoke tears and
weeping. But these tears are offered to God along with prayers, which signify
hope and personal empowerment. The
symbol of positive tears is the matriarch Rachel. Rachel is buried on the roadside,
and on route to the Babylonian exile. The nation will pass by there and she will </span><span style="background: white; line-height: 115%;">come out upon her grave and weep and plead for mercy for
them,<span class="apple-converted-space"> and God says that there is </span>hope
for your future . . .' that your children will return to their
own borders’<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="line-height: 115%;">.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: medium;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">As parents and educators
we have many children who are faced with many challenges both academically and
behaviorally. The starting place is our prayers and tears in the hope that God
will provide guidance and help needed. We also need to display a lot of
patience like that of R' Freida who would teach a challenging student with a
learning difficulty 400 times until he understood the lesson. But what about
kids with challenging behavior. What about kids who don't abide by school
rules, have a hard time getting along with other kids, don't seem to respect
authority , don't seem to be interested in learning , and are disrupting the
learning of their classmates ? The traditional view of these kids is that they
are attention seeking, manipulative, limit-testing, coercive, or unmotivated
and what they need is discipline which is firm, consistent and contingent with
lots of rewards and consequences to make kids 'wanna ' behave. So we have many kids who are paying frequent
visits to the principal's office, getting detentions, suspensions and even
being expelled and finally end up in juvenile prison evidence to the existence
of the school-to- prison pipeline. The tragedy of the situation is that
teachers and principals aren't even aware that these methods (besides promoting
the most primitive form of morality), are identical to ' giving up on these
kids ' and making their situation and future worse. There are some teachers and
principals who admit that they are not helping the challenging kid, but the
punitive consequences are needed as a deterrent and disincentive to the other kids
in the classroom and school - </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">למען יראו וישמעו </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span lang="HE" style="line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">, The truth is that according to the
American Psychological Association – APA, these zero-tolerance policies which
were intended to reduce violence and behavior problems in schools have instead
achieved the opposite effect with increased behavior problems, drop- out rates
while schools dole out millions of detentions, suspensions and expulsions.
Giving consequences is not needed because kids already know how we want them to
behave and actually would like nothing better than to act in a more flexible
and adaptable way and be able to handle the social, emotional and behavioral
challenges being placed upon them. Many have been getting into trouble for so
long that they have lost faith that any adult will ever know how to help them. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; line-height: 115%;">Dr Ross Greene in his
book <a href="http://lostatschool.org/answers/index.htm"><span style="color: blue;">Lost at School</span> </a> suggests a different approach based on what we know from
the neuro-sciences that these kids have a developmental delay in areas of
flexibility and frustration tolerance and often act out when the demands placed
upon them outstrip the skills they have to act flexibly and adaptively. They often are lagging in skills such as
executive functions, language processing skills, emotional regulation skills,
cognitive flexibility and social skills etc. The mantra of his CPS –
collaborative problem solving approach or now called collaborative and
pro-active solutions is ' children do well if they can' and not' children do
well if they want to'. The CPS process in a compassionate way promotes the
various cognitive and life skills, nurtures the relationship between student
and teacher and supports the child's autonomy. It helps kids come up with a
better plan, and engage in an autonomous way in the moral act of restitution
and doing Teshuva. Teachers who aim to control student's behavior – rather than
helping them to control it themselves – undermine the very elements essential
for motivation – autonomy, a sense of competence and a capacity to relate to
others. And when teachers need to
enforce control by using punishments and consequences, they are certainly not
addressing the underlying problems but worse – they are actually giving up on
these kids.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-75199982590755636252016-06-16T08:47:00.001-07:002017-06-08T05:33:25.184-07:00Beha'alotcha 76 - The Menorah provides protection from external influences<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;"><span style="color: blue;">A major concern for any educator or parent is to protect
ourselves, our children and students from negative external influences. The lighting of the 7 lamps of
the Menorah by Aaron which appears at the beginning of our parasha provides the
guidance and insight needed to deal with outside influences.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;">Sefer Bamidbar, the book of Numbers deals with the journey of
the nation in the desert as a camp. In the center of the camp was the
sanctuary- Mishkan where the Divine Presence – shechina resided amongst them. The nation, participated in the inauguration
of the Mishkan and the Altar through the voluntary sacrifices and donations brought by the tribal leaders. Aaron was not inspired to bring offerings and donations, so
he and the tribe of Levi did not participate in the dedication of the Altar and
sanctuary </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;">חנוכת המזבח- </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>. When Aaron saw that the offerings of the tribal leaders were
accepted by God, it was too late to join in, as the donation of the leader of
the tribe of Ephraim was counted as the 12<sup>th</sup> tribe. Aaron was grieved
and despondent that he and his tribe did not participate in </span></span><span style="color: blue; font-family: calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16.6667px; text-indent: 27pt;">the inauguration ceremony</span><span style="color: blue; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt; text-indent: 27pt;"> in expressing the
nation's joy and appreciation of the sanctuary. God comforted Aaron and said that he will be given the mitzvah of dedicating
the Menorah and preparing, arranging and kindling the lamps of the Menorah. This mitzvah was greater than the dedication of the Altar by the tribal leaders and their donations and offerings. The
nation would also participate by bringing the oil for the lamps
and so Aaron would be their representative in lighting the Menorah. Unlike the
sacrifices of the tribal leaders, the lighting of the Menorah had an element of
eternity and was thus greater than the dedication offerings. Aaron would have
plenty of opportunities to be the representative of holiness and God's emissary
in the service in the Sanctuary, but only the kindling of the Menorah in the
inauguration service of the sanctuary </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt; text-indent: 27pt;">חנוכת
המשכן </span><span style="color: blue; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt; text-indent: 27pt;">would provide Aaron the
opportunity to represent the nation.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;">God instructs Moses to tell Aaron that when he lights the lamps
of the Menorah, the 3 wicks on each side of the menorah's central shaft should
be inclined towards the center light and not towards the outside - Numbers 8:2 .</span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;">דַּבֵּר אֶל אַהֲרֹן וְאָמַרְתָּ אֵלָיו בְּהַעֲלֹתְךָ אֶת
הַנֵּרֹת אֶל מוּל פְּנֵי הַמְּנוֹרָה יָאִירוּ שִׁבְעַת הַנֵּרוֹת</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>: The reason was that the divine presence – shechinah
lit up the sanctuary, so there was no need for the light of the Menorah. The
Menorah was there for man's benefit and elevation – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;">בהעלתך
</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> . The Midrash describes a blind man being
walked home by a friend. When they enter the blind's man home, the friend asks
the blind man to switch on the lights. The friend could have done it himself,
but he wanted to give the blind man an opportunity to reciprocate and express
gratitude. The Midrash says that the lighting of the Menorah was an expression
of man's gratitude for the light that God shines on our lives through his
Mishkan and Torah. It is an elevation for man, and for his merit that man
expresses his gratitude to God by engaging in the
learning of God's Torah and spreading God's light in the world. Aaron and the
priests are the teachers of the nation, who will become a ' light unto the
nations' and bring the world closer to God. </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;">מלאכי
ב:ז</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>- (</span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;">ז) כִּי שִׂפְתֵי כֹהֵן יִשְׁמְרוּ דַעַת וְתוֹרָה יְבַקְשׁוּ
מִפִּיהוּ</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> The prophet Malachi
says of the priests , that ' the lips of the priest will preserve knowledge and
they will seek Torah from his mouth'. Another Midrash also talks about God not
needing the light of the Menorah and the mitzvah to light the lamps is for
our benefit. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;">' See: when a person builds
a house, he makes windows in the house, since he wants the light to
enter. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>So he makes the
windows narrow on the outside, and wide on the inside. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Why? <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>In order that the light will enter
from outside and illuminate inside. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>But
when King Solomon built the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Temple,
he did not make the windows like this. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Rather,
he made them narrow on the inside and wide on the outside, in order that the
light would emanate from the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Temple<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>and illuminate outwards. The light of
the sanctuary and the temple –</span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;">מקדש </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;">depends on the participation of
the nation in the kindling of the Menorah lamps. The Light of the Menorah is
symbolic of God's wisdom and Torah. It is the nation through its teachers who
become the messengers of God, and it is through their actions, prayers and
learning that the temple maintains its sanctity and holiness and remains a
place for God's presence and a center for people to access God's holiness. The
purpose of the Menorah is to bring light to the world and not to light up the
sanctuary and temple.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;">The Netziv in his
commentary on the Torah – Emek Davar
Numbers 8:2 and Exodus 37:19 says
that the Menorah is symbolic of God's wisdom as expressed in creative and new
thoughts in Torah and its intricate discussions - chidushei and pil'lpulei ha'torah. The seven
shafts represent the ' 7 branches of
wisdom ' which are included in the oral law. One needs an appreciation of the '
7 branches of wisdom to get an understanding and appreciation of the Torah. The
Torah waters, enriches and gives context to wisdom and wisdom waters and
enriches knowledge and the intellect which enables one to know and understand
the complexity and fine points of God's word. </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;">שהתורה
משקה בחכמות. והחכמות משקים הדעת לדעת ולהבין דקדוקי דבר ה'</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> The complexity of modern
halacha requires in many instances knowledge of science, medicine and the
social sciences etc.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.5pt;"><span style="color: blue;">We have discussed above how
the lighting of the Menorah lamps and the structure of the windows of the
temple were designed with the purpose of illuminating the outside world and
bringing the light of the Torah to others. The way we can protect ourselves and
children from outside influences is that we become people with a message,
people who can make an impact on others and influence the outside world rather
than being influenced. The second way we protect our children from external
influences is by providing them with a healthy attitude to ' wisdom', knowledge
and learning in general. We teach children to look at the world and any
learning whether formal or informal, scientific, religious or socio-moral
learning using the lenses of the Torah, in order to see the world through the
eyes of the Torah. The Mishnah tells us that a wise man is one who learns from
every one and all life experiences. We show how our general learning and life
experiences inform our Torah and how our Torah learning informs our general
learning and life experiences. In this way, we manage to integrate all learning
and life experiences into a Torah outlook that reflects also our personalities,
our chelek –part in the Torah and our unique way of looking at the world. A
well rounded and integrated personality is one who can impact on the world and
be learning all the time. If the role of the Jewish people is to be a light
unto the nations and help the world solve its problem using Torah principles
and values, we need people who are informed by both the wisdom of the Torah and
wisdom in general. In this way, we will see the realization of the eternal
message of the kindling of the Menorah lamps and the illumination of the world
with the light of the Torah.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-68340588361932230062016-06-08T03:29:00.003-07:002017-06-01T03:07:40.081-07:00Nasso 76 - Raising ourselves and children to have Grace- Chein <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Our portion-parasha deals with the
Priestly Blessings- </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">ברכת כהנים </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> where Aaron and his sons are commanded to
bless the children of Israel saying to them …</span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">דַּבֵּר אֶל אַהֲרֹן וְאֶל בָּנָיו לֵאמֹר
כֹּה תְבָרֲכוּ אֶת בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל אָמוֹר לָהֶם</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>:. After the listing of the 3 blessings, God in
the Torah says – Let them – the Kohanim place MY Name upon the children of
Israel and I shall bless them.</span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span> </span><span dir="RTL" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> <span lang="HE">וְשָׂמוּ אֶת שְׁמִי עַל בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל
וַאֲנִי אֲבָרֲכֵם</span></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>: The obvious question is - who is doing the blessing ? – we begin with an
instruction by God to the Kohanim to bless the people and then God says …… so I
can bless them. The answer is that when the Kohanim bless the nation, God will
confer his own blessing on the children of Israel. The Kohanim are the
instruments, the pipeline, through which God allows his blessing to rest upon
Israel. The Talmud – Megilah tells us not to take lightly the blessing of even an
ordinary man. His blessing has the ability to access God's abundance and with
God's agreement bring blessing to someone's life. In the same way, parents
bless their children using the script of the priestly blessing. Their love and
devotion to their children is the conduit, a pipeline that channel's God's
infinite blessing onto their children.The conduit or pipeline of the Kohanim is love and so they are commanded to bless God's people with love. It seems that God wanted man to
participate in bringing His blessings and abundance into the lives of people.
It is our caring, love and devotion expressed by acts of kindness and
expressions of prayer and blessings for others that God wants. And so, He is
willing to support us by allowing us to access His abundance and confer His
blessings. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The first blessing is –' May God
bless you and protect you'. </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">יְבָרֶכְךָ יְדֹוָד וְיִשְׁמְרֶךָ</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>: This is not a specific blessing but is dependent
on a person's wishes. The Sages suggest that this is a material blessing that
needs protection from thieves or bandits, that we should not spend our
money to pursue materialistic goals, but use our wealth wisely and for spiritual purposes. We should be
protected from wealth itself or any other blessing so we don't become arrogant or
attached to money and forget God. In
other words, we need protection and help to make sure that our blessings should
not turn into curses. The second blessing
is – May God shine his face upon you and
give you grace. </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">יָאֵר יְדֹוָד פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ וִיחֻנֶּךָּ</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> This is a spiritual
blessing where God's light and presence
becomes evident in us and is expressed by the grace or ' chein' that people see in us. This makes us people who have the
quality of being attractive, liked and loved by others. People are drawn to us,
and want to be in our company because they find us charming. The third blessing
is - May God turns his face towards you and give you peace. </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">יִשָּׂא יְדֹוָד
פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ וְיָשֵׂם לְךָ שָׁלוֹם</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>: Because of God's special relationship
with Israel, He will be more forgiving and support the establishment of peace
between men, between the material and spiritual side of man so there will be harmony within man and between man and God.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It is understandable that man must
do his share - to ensure economic, spiritual and social progress, before God
will give his support and blessings. The question is what can we do, besides
acquiring more knowledge and understandings of God's ways, so we can raise ourselves
and our children with grace and 'chein'- </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">חן</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>?<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Although we pray for grace </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">חנא </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> - that we have that quality that makes us
loved by others together with the qualities of generosity, kindness – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">חסדא </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> and
compassion – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">ורחמין </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>, the Book of Proverbs 3:3-4
tells us that when kindness and truth
are the qualities that guide our speech and
the feelings of our heart, we will find
grace and good intellect in the eyes of God and man.</span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">חֶסֶד וֶאֱמֶת אַל
יַעַזְבֻךָ קָשְׁרֵם עַל גַּרְגְּרוֹתֶיךָ כָּתְבֵם עַל לוּחַ לִבֶּךָ וּמְצָא חֵן
וְשֵׂכֶל טוֹב בְּעֵינֵי אֱלֹהִים וְאָדָם</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>:<span style="color: #333333;">
</span><span style="color: #333333;">When we do have grace, charm and</span><span style="color: #333333;"> </span></span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">חן </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> , we have to protect this blessing with values
and the fear of God –</span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span> </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">שקר החן והבל היפי יראת ה' היא תתהלל </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>– Proverbs 31:30 .Crooks, cheaters and con artists know how to use charm - חן to build and get people's trust and confidance and then use it to cheat them. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: large;">We should pray for our children and
bless them every day. It is important to support their needs for autonomy, respect,
unconditional acceptance, competence and ' relatedness', so they feel
confident, supported, have a sense of belonging, and are self-directed with a self-esteem that is
solid and not dependent on outside approval. They also have sense of purpose and a commitment to the well-being
of people and Torah values. We should be examples of grace-חן , in our interactions with our children and all other people and we should discuss and share with them the qualities and behavior of individuals we and they know, who have a lot of grace - חן<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: large;">Chein- grace and charm is a skill
that helps you communicate and bond with people. You come across as a gentle, generous
humble and unassuming, authentic, honest, positive, non-judgmental, patient, and
a happy person who is genuinely glad to see the other person. You make them feel
that they are the most important person in the world by giving them your
undivided attention and you are attentive to what they are saying. You look for
agreement and validate their feelings and ideas, offering feedback and also
sharing your insights. Charming people are more interested in hearing what
others have to say and hear their perspectives and not getting their voice
heard. They show curiosity and interest by asking open ended and sincere questions that makes it
easier for the other person to answer in a more personal and introspective way.
Grace is that quality which sees the best in others, including chein and charm.
They seek the best for others and always are willing to do acts of kindness
without expecting anything in return. Charming people are impressed by others
and have no problem in offering compliments. They solve problems in a
collaborative way addressing the concerns of others and look for mutually
satisfying solutions.They have the confidence to admit their mistakes, and the
courage to expose their vulnerability. They have a good sense of humor and
don't mind being a source of laughter for others and themselves and laugh with
you about something they said or did. People find it easier to trust and connect to
people who are willing to expose their vulnerability and show that they are not
perfect. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We pray to God for the
blessing of grace- </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">חן</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> for ourselves, our children and the whole community .We also need
to make an effort that we and our children acquire the social skills and
characteristics so we all can find grace and good intellect in the eyes of God and
Man. We need to know that grace – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">חן </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">takes precedence and is more important than good intellect – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">שכל טוב. </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> The question is – where is ' grace' education found in our
homes and schools?</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-28204702348194697032016-06-01T10:13:00.004-07:002016-06-01T23:42:11.909-07:00Bamidbar - Shavuot 76 - Unconditional Teaching <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #002060; font-size: 12.0pt;">After
having counted the tribes, The Torah lists the Priests= Kohanim and Levites.
They would devote themselves to spirituality and the service of God in the
Tabernacle. The Torah introduces us to the
descendants and children of Moses and Aaron – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="color: #002060; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">אלה תולדות אהרן ומשה </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="color: #002060; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> these are the offspring
of Moses and Aaron ……. And then begins
to list only the sons of Aaron. The
Talmud – Sanhedrin asks why does the Torah list only the sons of Aaron and call
them the offspring – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="color: #002060; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">תולדות
</span><span style="color: #002060; font-size: 12.0pt;">of Moses as well. The
Talmud says that if someone teaches someone else's children Torah, it as if he bore
them. Moses taught Aaron's son's Torah
and became their spiritual father. The implication for teachers is that is that
they must treat pupils and students as if they were their own children. The
litmus test is that a student must see in the teacher a caring father and that
the teacher's acceptance, respect, concern and love for the child must be
unconditional and does not depend on what the child does – learn well or behave , but on who he is. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #002060; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
question is why ' unconditional teaching
', the title of an<b><u> <a href="http://www.alfiekohn.org/article/unconditional-teaching/">article </a></u></b> by A. Kohn, is so
important for the teaching of Torah. The
teaching of Torah should focus on the whole child – not only his external behavior
and academics. It should focus on his thoughts, motives, underlying values, his
emotional and spiritual side and informal learning = learning from all people
etc. We want kids to feel self-directed,
internalize their learning, develop a love for learning, give expression to
their personalities, individual thinking, learning and values through communication,
doing good deeds and mitzvoth and teaching others. When kids feel that they are valued
conditionally, and feel more or less loved and accepted depending how they
perform or behave, acceptance is never a sure thing. Carl Rogers explains that
children will be able to accept themselves as fundamentally valuable and
capable, is to the extent which they have been accepted unconditionally by
others. They need to see themselves as basically good people in order to repent
and do Teshuva, be accepting of others and do good to them. Children, whose
parental/teacher love and acceptance was conditional , based on what they do
and not by who they are, have a lower perception of their overall worth, come
to disown parts of them that are not valued , regard themselves as worthy only
when they behave in certain ways and accept themselves and others with strings attached. In extreme
cases they will create a ' false self ' in order to be the person their parents
will love. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #002060; font-size: 12.0pt;">When
it comes to academics, acceptance is based on performance. We use competition
to ' rank kids' against each other and try to remedy the situation by giving
each kid a ' chance of being number one '.We motivate kids to learn by using
grades, honor rolls, praise etc. So the
focus is on achievement and the message kids get is only those who do well
count. We focus on helping kids think on how they are learning instead of
focusing on what they are learning so they can connect to and internalize the
learning. Kids, who feel valued irrespective of their achievements, accomplish
quite a lot and develop a healthy self-confidence in themselves and a belief
that it is safe to take risks and try new things. Every child should be able to
find his place in the Beit Hamidrash, connect to the Torah and feel valuable in
the eyes of the teacher.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #002060; font-size: 12.0pt;">When
it comes to behavior, acceptance is based on a child being compliant and obedient.
Kids are forced into time-out, detentions and suspensions or even corporal
punishment or seduced by rewards in the
hope that they will be taught a lesson, to behave better and be more compliant.
Kids experience these consequences and '
doing to ' approaches rather differently - that acceptance is conditional, teachers
are unfair, and mistake was being caught and become alienated from the teacher
and learning in general. Instead of helping kids do Teshuva, and reflect on the
consequences of their actions and feel sorry for others, they now feel sorry
for themselves. When we focus on the whole child and not just on the behavior,
we take into account feelings, motives, values, underlying problems, lagging
skills etc.<span class="apple-converted-space"> We can then echo the CPS,
collaborative problem solving moto that 'children do well if they can and not
children do well if they want to ' and try and deal with the underlying
problems that are giving fuel to the
child's behavior and solve the problem – working with the child in a
collaborative way. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="color: #002060; font-size: 12.0pt;">Marilyn Watson in her book
"Learning to Trust" explains that a teacher can make it clear to
students that certain actions are unacceptable while still providing a deep
kind of reassurance that she still cares about them and is not going to punish
or desert them even if they do something very bad. This posture allows their
best motives to surface and give them space and support them in the process of
reflecting and autonomously engaging in the moral act of restitution - Teshuva.
If we want students to trust that we care for them, then we need to display our
affection without demanding that they behave or perform in certain ways in
return. It is not that we don't want or expect certain behaviors – we do, but
our concern and affection does not depend on it. '<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="color: #002060; font-size: 12.0pt;">A relationship depends also on being
interested in hearing their opinions and perspectives of how things could be
done differently and countless gestures that let them know we are glad to see
them. The Chazon Ish is quoted as saying – what kids need more than love is
respect. For kids, how much the teacher cares is far more important than how
much he knows. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="color: #002060; font-size: 12.0pt;">Kohn asks teachers... Imagine that your
students are invited to respond to a questionnaire several years after leaving
school. They are asked to indicate whether they agree or disagree – how strongly
– with statements such as : " Even when I was not proud of how I acted ,
even when I didn't do the homework, even when I got low test scores or didn't
seem interested in what was being taught , I knew that – insert your name here –
still cared about me." How would
you like your students to answer that sort of question? How do you think they
will answer it?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #002060; font-size: 12.0pt;">With
Shavuot approaching, we reflect on ' receiving the Torah ' and passing it on to
future generations. We should remind ourselves that unconditional love,
acceptance and respect will help us focus on the whole child and without judgment
help them be more focused on what they are doing and learning and on not on '
how well ' they are doing, so that they can connect to the Torah and
internalize its teachings..<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-45560471411295207272016-05-25T16:20:00.001-07:002016-05-25T23:06:04.660-07:00Bechukotai, Netzavim 76 Enlightened Self- Interest or Altruism <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">The relationship between
God and the children of Israel was defined by a ' covenant '-<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></b><b><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">ברית</span></b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></b></span><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> at Mount Horeb- Sinai. After the sin of the Golden
Calf, the covenant was renewed and ratified by means of the blessings-<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></b><b><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">ברכות</span></b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></b></span><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> and the admonition –<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></b><b><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">תוכחה</span></b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></b></span><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> in our parasha – Bechukotai . Lev 26..</span></b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> A second covenant
was made before entering the land of Israel and ratified on Mount Grizim and
Ebal.</span></b><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">On the last day of his
life, in Parashat Netzavim, Moses gathered all the people – old, young, men,
women, and children etc. and initiated them for the last time into the covenant
of God. The new covenant introduced the concept of collective and mutual
responsibility and accountability. People according to their degree of
influence on others and the community as a whole would be mutually responsible
and accountable </span></b><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">for the sins of individuals and benefit from the mitzvoth – good
deeds of people.</span><o:p></o:p></b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> <b>Israel are sureties
for one another </b></span><b><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">ישראל
ערבים זה בזה</span></b><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p> - </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">They would only be
accountable for sins which were public or revealed and not accountable for
hidden or secret sins about which they had no knowledge.</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">הַנִּסְתָּרֹת--לַיהוָה, אֱלֹהֵינוּ; וְהַנִּגְלֹת לָנוּ וּלְבָנֵינוּ,
עַד-עוֹלָם--לַעֲשׂוֹת, אֶת-כָּל-דִּבְרֵי הַתּוֹרָה הַזֹּאת</span></b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><b><span style="background: white; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>. The
secret things belong to the <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> our
God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever,
that we may follow all the words of this law.</span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> </span></b></span><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">– Dev 29:28 . The mutual or collective responsibility and
accountability –<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></b><b><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">ערבות</span></b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></b></span><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> is because the Jewish people are considered like one
body or everyone in the same boat indicating that they share a common fate and
destiny and impact one on each other. Another source for the principle of
collective responsibility is the commandment to protest or rebuke a person so
that he does not sin or continue sinning and one also disassociates himself from the sin of the
other person. Here we are dealing with open or revealed sins. While people may
not be accountable for hidden sins, for sure they have a responsibility to try
an influence people to observe God's commandments where ever they are and
support them. The word –<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></b><b><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">ערבות</span></b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></b></span><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> = collective responsibility is from the letters <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></b><b><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">ערב</span></b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></b></span><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> which hint that a person should be sweet and attractive to
others , involved with them and be caring and have a feeling of responsibility
for them.</span></b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">The principle of
mutual responsibility –<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></b><b><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">ערבות</span></b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></b></span><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> is introduced to us by the Sages from the section relating to
the curses in our parasha Bechukotai with the words - ' They will
stumble over each other ' – implying that they will stumble because of each
other , because of each other's sin.</span></b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">וכשלו איש באחיו, אינו אומר איש באחיו, אלא איש
בעון אחיו, מלמד שכל ישראל ערבים זה בזה</span></b><span dir="LTR" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">The question is asked -
why did the Sages choose a verse from the curses which describes
Israel in exile, scattered amongst the people of the world. When
Moses speaks about the blessings for keeping the covenant he does so
collectively – there will be rain in its due season, you in the plural, will
have good harvests etc. The Sages could have introduced the concept of
collective responsibility –<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></b><b><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">ערבות</span></b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></b></span><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">from the section dealing with blessings so why did they introduce
the concept in the context of the curses.</span></b><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">The first answer is that
mutual responsibility can characterize a people even if they are scattered in
exile and not united in their homeland. This was shown to characterize the
Jewish people during the Mendel Beillis trial in Russia where Beillis was
accused of a ritual murder, the blood libel. The prosecution tried to
incriminate Beillis from the saying of the Sages that ' Israel are called Adam-
man, but the nations of the world are not called Adam-man', implying that it
was not a problem to murder a non-Jew for religious purposes as they are not
considered people. The Rabbis offered a different explanation of the saying-</span><o:p></o:p></b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><em><b><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-style: normal;">ישראל</span></b></em><b><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> קרואים<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>'<em><span style="font-style: normal;">אדם</span></em>'<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>ואין <em><span style="font-style: normal;">אומות העולם</span></em> קרואים<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>'<em><span style="font-style: normal;">אדם</span></em></span></b><b><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> -</span></b><span dir="LTR" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">Israel is called man in
the singular because they display a singular collective responsibility. When
one Jew is unjustly accused of murder, they rally around him and support him
from all corners of the world. When a non-Jew is accused, only a few people from
all over the world identify with his plight.</span><o:p></o:p></b><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">I suggest a further
answer. The Torah seems to be giving good reasons - blessings or curses - why
we should take responsibility for others and ensure that they observe the
commandments and be loyal to the covenant. But we don't like to encourage
people and especially students to be pro-social and generous because of self-
interest and selfish reasons. But maybe ' enlightened self -interest ' might be
different. When we encourage people to be pro-social, contribute to the
community and support people's spiritual growth, everyone benefits both
materially and socially. So people have a personal interest in the welfare of
others, because they benefit too. Rabbi SR Hirsch explains the verse -
and people will stumble ' because ' of each other - </span></b><b><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">וכשלו איש באחיו</span></b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></b></span><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> , that in times of fear and stress, people tend to be
concerned only about saving themselves and as a result cooperation suffers and is
missing. So even without intention people contribute to the loss of lives.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></b><b><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">בשעת אימה
–כאשר דעתו של אדם נתונה רק להצלת עצמו – תחסר כל שותפות של עשייה ,שלא במתכוון
יאבד האחד על ידי חבירו</span></b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></b></span><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> The
problem is that self – interest is materialistic and materialism separates and
disconnects people. Even if we focus on ' enlightened self- interest, the focus is still on the self. We have to promote ' altruism ', that collective and
mutual responsibility =<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></b><b><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">ערבות</span></b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></b></span><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"> is a value in itself. The blessing is not a
reward for people keeping the covenant and being collectively responsible for
each other. The blessings come to support our loyalty to covenant and help us
support each other. The curses and hardships come not as a punishment but to challenge the neglect of
the covenant and a belief that the only responsibility a person has is for
himself and his immediate family.</span></b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">As parents and educators
we have to promote collective responsibility and altruism as a value on its own
and not to encourage pro-social behavior using extrinsic motivators, self
–interest and not even enlightened self- interest. We want kids to ask – what
type of family, classroom, school, community and society do we want.
Collective responsibility informs us about the importance of the
environment and the system for empowering people. There is a tendency in
education to focus on the individual and on promoting personal character such as self- discipline
and grit and ignoring the vital role that a supporting and nurturing
environment, plays in the lives of children. We see the importance of a sense
of belonging, positive friendships and relationships. In a sense, friends have
a more powerful influence on children than parents. The Mishna says – buy a
friend – invest in friendships –<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></b><b><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">קנה חבר</span></b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Kids mirror themselves and reflect
using their friends rather than parents or teachers. Parents and teachers are
not the standards with which kids measure themselves. When kids have friends
from different generations, then older people too, can become a reference point
for kids and they begin to relate to the community as a whole and not just their
peers or school in a way which reflects collective and mutual responsibility.</span></b><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-3794452243428666332016-05-18T04:58:00.001-07:002016-05-18T07:41:25.060-07:00Behar 76 - Modern Slavery - Moral and Ethical Behavior <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The parasha talks about
the Hebrew slave who sells himself to work for a 'master ' because of economic
problems and poverty. The Hebrew slave was not a slave in the generally
accepted sense of the word. He was rather an ' indentured servant ', who was
not free to resign from his employment. Because
the Hebrew slave feels degraded and has lost most of his self- esteem, the
Torah forbids the master to work him like a slave, and subjugate him through
hard labor. </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">לא תעבוד בו עבודת עבד, לא תרדה בו בפרך ויראת מאלוקיך. </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> You are not allowed to assign him degrading
tasks that would be given only to a slave and that highlight his position as a
slave like putting on his master's shoes or carrying his master's personal
effects to the bathhouse. He is not allowed to
give him futile and unproductive ' busywork ' where the goal is to keep
him busy rather than productive , so he feels his servitude and it breaks his
body and spirit just like the Egyptian slave masters acted towards the Hebrew
slaves in Egypt. It could be simple tasks as boiling water where there is no
need for it or giving tasks with no time limit such as keep digging around this
tree until I come back. Even if your Hebrew slave thinks there is purpose in what he
is doing, but your intention is ' busywork', you should fear God, because God
will hold you accountable as He knows what is in your heart.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>Although these laws do
not apply today, there are many
lessons to be learned that give us guidance and insight as how to interact over
whom we may be allowed to exercise authority.
The Hebrew slave himself teaches us that it is better to work rather
than to take charity. The question is - how should we treat people – such as
family members or poor people who live with us in our homes, employees,
students and army cadets etc. . . . There is no question that forcing a person
against his will to engage in hard and degrading work is not allowed except in
the case of criminals. Rashi says that a king or prince must not rule over his
people with rigor and coercion. However, where a person is willing to do the
work, like in the case of an army cadet who wants to prove his obedience and
compliance without having his body and spirit broken, hard and degrading labor
would be permitted. He could always quit if he wanted to. The question is where
a person is asked by an influential, public figure or a person who has
authority, to do things for him, not in the scope of their working
relationship. The person will usually
comply with the request because he cannot say no and usually will feel uncomfortable,
embarrassed or not at ease about the request. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>Here , Rabeinu Yona in his work –
Sha'arei Teshuvah , part 3:60 on the
verse – and 'your brothers, the children of Israel you shall not subjugate him
through hard labor ' – says 'that one
should not subjugate a fellow man , and if they fear him or are ashamed to
violate his word , he should not command him to do anything , great or small ,
not even to warm up a flask or go on an errand in the city to buy a loaf of
bread unless it is according to their will and benefit. But a man who does not
behave himself properly may be commanded as desired.' A person should not take advantage of his
status, position or authority, impose on people and try to get people to do things not in the contractual
context.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span lang="HE" style="color: blue; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>רבינו
יונה – שערי תשובה ח:ג- ס 'ובאחיכם בני ישראל איש באחיו לא תרדה בו בפרך ' (ויקרא כה,
מו). לא ישתעבד אדם בחבריו, ואם אימתו עליהם או שהם בושים להחל דברו, לא יצוה אותם
לעשות קטנה או גדולה, אלא לרצונם ותועלתם, ואפילו להחם צפחת מים או לצאת בשליחותו אל
רחוב העיר לקנות עד ככר </b></span><b><span style="color: blue;"><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">לחם, אבל אדם שאינו נוהג כשורה מתר לצוותו לכל אשר יחפץ:</span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There is discussion
whether Rabeinu Yona is saying that a person transgresses the negative
commandment of not subjugating a fellow man </span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">- '</span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> ובאחיכם בני ישראל איש באחיו לא תרדה בו בפרך'</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></span></b><b><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> </span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">or is he only talking about moral and
ethical behavior which in a sense is worse than merely transgressing a negative
command. </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Here we are
talking about character, compassion, morality, de'rech eretz = the right way to
treat people which preceded the giving of the Torah.</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>The Rambam in his
halachic work says something similar. He talks about the right to subjugate a
heathen slave with forced hard labor where the purpose is to enforce discipline, absolute obedience and compliance, but if that is not necessary , one should
be compassionate and generous in one's
behavior and act in a wise and intelligent way, be merciful and just, not weigh heavily on
him the burden of your demands , he
should listen to the concerns of his slave and treat him well like Job ,so he will look up to
you ' like the eyes of servants unto their masters' hand and the eyes of the
maid unto her mistress' hand '– Psalms 123:2.One should follow the example of
Abraham , keep the righteous and merciful laws of the Torah and try to emulate
God who is merciful to all his creations.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: blue;"><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">רמב"ם
הלכות עבדים ט:ח - מותר לעבוד בעבד כנעני בפרך ואע"פ שהדין כך
מדת חסידות ודרכי חכמה שיהיה אדם רחמן ורודף צדק ולא יכביד עולו על עבדו ולא יצר לו
ויאכילהו וישקהו מכל מאכל ומכל משתה חכמים הראשונים היו נותנין לעבד מכל תבשיל ותבשיל
שהיו אוכלין ומקדימין מזון הבהמות והעבדים לסעודת עצמן הרי הוא אומר כעיני עבדים אל
יד אדוניהם כעיני שפחה אל יד גבירתה וכרן לא יבזהו ביד ולא בדברים לעבדות מסרן הכתוב
לא לבושה ולא ירבה עליו צעקה וכעס אלא ידבר עמו בנחת וישמע טענותיו וכן מפורש בדרכי
איוב הטובים שהשתבח בהן אם אמאס משפט עבדי ואמתי בריבם עמדי הלא בבטן עושני עשהו ויכוננו
ברחם אחד ואין האכזריות והעזות מצויה אלא בעכו"ם עובדי ע"ז אבל זרעו של אברהם
אבינו והם ישראל שהשפיע להם הקב"ה טובת התורה וצוה אותם בחקים ומשפטים צדיקים
רחמנים הם על הכל וכן במדותיו של הקב"ה שצונו להדמות בהם הוא אומר ורחמיו על כל
מעשיו וכל המרחם מרחמין עליו שנאמר ונתן לך רחמים ורחמך והרבך:</span><span lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>As parents, spouses,
teachers and employers we should be aware of the teachings of the Rambam and
Rabeinu Yona and focus on cooperation, collaboration, inspiring others and
supporting their autonomy rather than focusing on compliance and obedience, and
treating people in a way maybe more appropriate for a heathen slave. We should
solve problems in a collaborative way addressing both our and the others' concerns including the concerns of children. We should always ask ourselves if the tasks we give children are in
themselves worth doing and important and are not perceived and experienced as '
busywork ' or unnecessary burden imposed on the child. The Steipler responded to his daughter - the reason I did not wake you up is that my job is not to impose on people , even though it is your job to help and honor a parent.When we bring kids into
the decision making process and reflecting on what is needed to run a caring and
efficient home or developing a love for learning, we will find allies to work with,
rather than try to control and motivate them with carrots or sticks. We really have to ask ourselves
if what we ask is really for their benefit and meeting their needs or are we
more concerned with our need for control. Teachers should avoid asking kids for
e.g. to do personal errands such as going to the kiosk for them. Homework is
one area which is very problematic as the research, especially for junior
school shows no benefits for homework, overwhelms struggling kids and as 'busywork' removes
the joy of learning for high achievers. Even reading for pleasure loses its
appeal when children are told how much, or for how long, they must do it.
Treating kids with respect and taking them seriously is not only for them, but
will impact on our efforts to emulate the ways of God.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-69167221601267793002016-05-11T01:09:00.000-07:002016-05-11T01:26:19.680-07:00Emor 76- Kiddush Hashem , Walls and Values<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background: white; color: blue; font-size: 12.0pt;"><b>The parasha introduces us to the principles of Kiddush
ha-Shem and Chilul ha-Shem in the verses –Lev. 22:32-33 Do not desecrate
/profane my holy Name , rather that I
should be sanctified among the
children of Israel , I am Hashem
, who sanctifies you. Who took you out of the land of Egypt to be a God unto you, I am Hashem.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> </span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">לב</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">וְלֹא
תְחַלְּלוּ, אֶת-שֵׁם קָדְשִׁי, וְנִקְדַּשְׁתִּי, בְּתוֹךְ בְּנֵי
יִשְׂרָאֵל: אֲנִי יְהוָה, מְקַדִּשְׁכֶם</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="https://draft.blogger.com/null" name="33"></a><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">לג</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">הַמּוֹצִיא אֶתְכֶם מֵאֶרֶץ מִצְרַיִם, לִהְיוֹת לָכֶם לֵאלֹהִים:
אֲנִי, יְהוָה</span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: blue; font-size: 12.0pt;"><b>The demands of Kiddush ha-Shem - go beyond those of morality.
It is not only a question of a behavior, being moral or not, but how the
behavior reflects on and impacts on the reputation of a person , his family,
school, community, nation and even God himself. By associating Himself with the
children of Israel, firstly through Abraham who voluntarily began teaching and
being an example of God's ways and then with the nation as whole by taking them
out of the land of Egypt and making a covenant with them at Mount Sinai, the
children of Israel became God's ambassadors and witnesses to the world. So
God's standing in eyes of the world now depends on how God's ' chosen' people behave.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: blue; font-size: 12.0pt;"><b>Many people in the community are disturbed by community leaders
failing in this role, but also with religious people who don't act with integrity,
decency, humility and compassion. It is sometimes out of a self-righteousness
that they show contempt for people or are totally immersed in their own world
of prayer and study to notice a person in need. The question is why are people
failing in the role as ambassadors and being witnesses for God?<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: blue; font-size: 12.0pt;"><b>The verses in The Torah that speak about sanctifying or
profaning the Name of God are proceeded
by laws concerning offerings – waiting 7
days before bring an animal as an offering, not slaughtering the mother and
child on the same day, and bringing the offering must be only to become closer
to God and benefit from the atonement and good that the offering brings to the
world.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">כז</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">שׁוֹר אוֹ-כֶשֶׂב אוֹ-עֵז כִּי יִוָּלֵד, וְהָיָה שִׁבְעַת יָמִים תַּחַת
אִמּוֹ; וּמִיּוֹם הַשְּׁמִינִי, וָהָלְאָה, יֵרָצֶה, לְקָרְבַּן אִשֶּׁה לַיהוָה</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="https://draft.blogger.com/null" name="28"></a><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">כח </span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">וְשׁוֹר, אוֹ-ֶׂה--אֹתוֹ
וְאֶת-בְּנוֹ, לֹא תִשְׁחֲטוּ בְּיוֹם אֶחָד</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="https://draft.blogger.com/null" name="29"></a><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">כט</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span></span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">וְכִי-תִזְבְּחוּ זֶבַח-תּוֹדָה, לַיהוָה--לִרְצֹנְכֶם, תִּזְבָּחוּ</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="HE" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;">The Mesech Chochmah asks – what is the connection of these
verses with the commandments to sanctify and not to desecrate God's name. He
explains that in contrast to idolatry which is full of cruelty, harshness and
retribution to the human soul – for eg human sacrifices and cutting, the Torah is full of compassion, clemency ,
kindness and sustains the world –</span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">וחסד ,מהוה ומחיה
העולמים ...</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">חמלה
וחנינה </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>. The Torah teaches how to be supportive and compassionate to
people and also treat animals with compassion. If we eat meat or offer
sacrifices -which is the ultimate
destiny of an animal by becoming part of a refined human being - we should do so with as much compassion as
possible ( although we cannot escape the pain of death ) and follow the laws
mentioned above. If God cares about the soul of the animal surely He cares
about us. We must bring sacrifices whole-heartedly, knowing that God has no
benefit and only wants from us to do kindness and give expression to God's
ways. But if we are forced to desecrate God's commandments and denigrate God's honor, we cannot live with this
contradiction and need to give up our lives and sanctify God's Name . We must
be willing to make the ultimate
sacrifice, and choose the eternal life close to God. <o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;">The
role of God's ambassador is having a ' compassionate mindset ' , so what gets
in the way of people? In a world where values of materialism, hedonism, sexual
promiscuity and competition etc threaten a spiritual life of modesty ,
spirituality and community, it is quite
understandable that communities build walls and fences to protect people from
outside influences. However, there are many challenges and dangers to be faced.
The problem (a) is that wall or fence
creates limits and boundaries and not values. It is values underlying how one
should interact with other people and society at large – with sensitivity and
compassion and yet being faithful and authentic to one's Torah values that
should create limits, boundaries and walls. (b) When we create a wall or a
fence to exclude others we may end up treating people as if
they don't count , not one of us
, and then we objectify them. When we
objectify people , being careful to avoid a chilul Hashem – a desecration of
God's name and instead focus on being a kidddush Hashem, sanctifying God's name
has no relevancy and then not on our
agenda. This impacts negatively on peoples' personalities and character and
leads to arrogance , self-righteousness and acting out of self-interest.
Teachers, parents , rabbis etc fail to the lesson of the first book of Moses –
Genesis which has little law in it and mostly stories of how the </span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>– forefathers interacted with people and
society at large. The Netziv in his introduction to the Book of Genesis says
that the Avot-forefathers were called ' ye'sharim= straight people ,honorable and decent people in their dealings with
people who were even idolators, yet had a loving relationship with them and
cared about their welfare </span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span> </span></b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><b><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">אבות היו ישרים בהליכות עולמים ....שהתנהגו עם אומות העולם,
אפילו עובדי אלילים מכוערים; מכל מקום היו עִמם באהבה, וחשו לטובתם, באשר היא קיום
הבריאה ...וחפץ בקיומם</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR" lang="HE" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>. It was for this reason that the children
of Heth said to Abraham – You are a prince of God in our midst – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">נשיא אלוקים אתה בתוכנו</span><span style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;">(c )' Not counting people '
also impacts on informal learning and acquiring of wisdom which depends
on being able to learn from all people and situations. </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "david" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">איזה חכם הלומד מכל אדם </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: David;">This attitude
cheapens the value of wisdom, chochmah and secular or general knowledge.<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: blue; font-size: 12.0pt;"><b>As parents and educators ' walls' protecting children from
negative influences are important, but
what guides behavior and interaction with people must be values and especially
the example of the Avot- forefathers and we being role models that sanctify the
name of God with a compassionate mindset and yet not compromising on the other
Torah values.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-17665166116961206442016-05-04T11:57:00.002-07:002016-05-04T21:23:23.968-07:00Kedoshim 76 – Holiness = A Unified and Caring Community<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The Mesech Chochmah-
Shemot 14:29 </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">makes an interesting observation regarding the
protective quality of community unity – a unity that is based on caring
interpersonal relationships. God has more patience, forgoes his honor and is
more forgiving of the sins between man and God such as idolatry, sexual
immorality, the desecration of the Sabbath. These sins are capital offences for
individuals. But when the whole community engages in idolatry, as long as we
have a unified and caring community, God is willing to be patient and supportive . If the community is plagued by mass
corruption, theft and violence etc., the community, is destroyed. If things are
not so bad, but the unity of the collective is violated by the friction, the
community no longer protects its members and each person is judged as a
separate individual who would be punished by death for idolatry etc.</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>The generation of King A'chav
were idol worshippers, yet they were consistently victorious in wars, without
suffering death due to their collective unity. However, the generation of King
David was considered pious in the domain of man- God commandments, but lost
soldiers in wars because there was internal strife, slanderers and informants-
dilturim. The first temple was destroyed mainly because of man- God
transgressions – idolatry and sexual immorality, yet it was rebuilt after 70
years. The second temple was destroyed because of sin'at chinam – baseless hatred,
interpersonal transgressions on a communal level and still is not yet rebuilt.
The sin of the golden calf – idolatry, was forgiven by God but the sin of the
spies which was characterized by slander and lack of gratitude and undermined
the unity of the nation was not forgiven and that generation died out in the desert. The generation of the flood transgressed all the
commandments including idolatry and sexual immorality but their sentence for
destruction and annihilation was only sealed due to large scale theft. In the Egypt,
the Israelites were a united and caring community, but there was mass idolatry among them. At the Red sea, their unity was temporarily
undermined by different factions arguing a different response to the pursuing
Egyptian army. Once they lost their unity Satan argued that they must be judged
as individuals – and as individuals they merit the death penalty for idolatry. Individuals
are punished by Kareth= early death or extinction of the souls for certain
major transgressions – but not if they belong a caring and united community. <o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>God's presence – the
shechinah remains in the tabernacle with His children despite their spiritual
contamination through sins like idolatry or sexual immorality but when the
community is not united ,violent and abusive, God's presence leaves his people and they
face destruction. <o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>The question is - why is
God willing to tolerate man –God transgressions such as idolatry, sexual
immorality and Sabbath desecration, forgoe his honor and provide protection in war to a caring
and unified community and society. ? The answer lies in our parasha – parashat Kedoshim.
Kedoshim is unique in that Moses gave
over its laws to the whole community of Israel – men, women and children and
that many of the commandments end with ' I am Hashem, Your God or you shall
fear and revere your God- I am Hashem.
This was to impress on people that the many man-man commandments in the parasha-portion are central to the Torah and it is forbidden to lessen their importance in
comparison with Man-God commandments. People also tend to justify inappropriate
behaviors and responses in their interpersonal relationships and sometimes the
justification is in the name of self-righteousness, so God reminds us that he
is aware of our crooked thinking. </b></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The centrality of the man-man commandments and the importance of a united and caring community also finds expression in the commandment - Be holy - </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">קדושים תהיו.</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span lang="HE" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> The mitzvah of Being Holy, means 'perushim'- being separate.
The Midrash compares God's holiness to man's holiness and says that man can
never attain God's holiness. The Ramban goes further than Rashi who explains
that 'perushim' – as separating oneself from sexual immorality to include being
indulgent or engaging in an excessive way in activities that are permitted , so that a person acts like a vile and despicable person with the permission of the Torah – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">נבל ברשות התורה</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>.
Rabbi Shimon Skop says that this definition of 'perushim ' - being separate
from excessive and indulgent behavior is not relevant to a discussion on God
and the Midrash. He defines God's Holiness of constantly doing good not only to
individuals but to the community and the world as a whole without any personal benefit –
Hashem by definition is perfect and does not need anything. Man can be altruistic, but he also needs to
care for himself. Being holy and identifying with God's holiness is a
concern not only with individuals but with the welfare of the community and the
collective. Whatever we do, we should
try and benefit others and the community. So even eating and sleeping can be
said to be also for the community because it enables us to be pro-social, kind
and concerned for the welfare of the community. The fact that the mitzvah of being holy - קדושים תהיו was given over by Moses to the whole community - men, women and children together emphasizes the importance of a united and caring community. <o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>When people show concern
not only for individuals but for the welfare and unity of the community, they give
expression to God's holiness and fullfil the mitzvah of קדושים תהיו. God responds by being supportive even in war and
showing a lot of patience to communities that transgress the man – God
commandments such as idolatry and sexual immorality. A community that observes
Man- God commandments but is corrupt in the man-man realm , has no right of
existence, because in reality identifying and trying to emulate how God
conducts himself in the world is central to one's relationship with God and man- God commandments.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>As parents and educators
we need to teach that acts of chesed and loving kindness are not only to be
directed towards individuals but the focus must be on the family, classroom, school,
community and society as a whole. We all, including kids should be asking what
type of community, school etc do us want and what pro-social behavior is needed
to meet our goals. An appreciation of God's role and his relationship with us
can inspire us to emulate his ways and become better and more holy people.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-82008092733511756142016-04-26T07:34:00.001-07:002016-04-26T16:47:36.009-07:00Pesach- Acharie Mot 76 – Aaron and the 4 Keys of Well-Being<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">For some, happiness and
well-being is a goal in life. For Torah Jews, this is in a sense a
preoccupation with the ' self' and that happiness and well-being should rather
be viewed as a vehicle for becoming greater, kinder and more compassionate
human beings. Dr Richard Davidson says that neuroscientists show that we can
change our brains –due to the plasticity of the brain – by creating more, new
and stronger neural circuits by using the keys or skills for well- being in a
deep and emotional way. The 4 keys are </span><b style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Resilience, Outlook, Attention and
Generosity</b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">. It seems that Aaron the High Priest is the Torah's role model
for these well-being keys.</span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Resilience</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> – Resilience is the rapidity with
which people recover from adversity. People who show a more rapid recovery in
key neural circuits have higher levels of well-being. The problem is that our
brains have a negativity bias to cope with threats and avoid danger. The brain sucks in negative interactions and
their impact on the brain is said to be 5 times more powerful than positive experiences.
We don't only suffer from negative experiences, but we tend to self –inflict,
brood over it for the rest of the day, becoming more negativistic, stressed out,
depressive, pessimistic and self- critical. Self-compassion is a skill that
helps people recover and get back on track. People who see mistakes, falling
and failure as opportunities for growth turn these negative experiences into
positive experiences and when they repent and do Teshuva they can transform
negative actions into positive actions. Aaron lost his 2 sons during the
inauguration ceremony of the Tabernacle. Moses consoled Aaron and Aaron's
response was to accept the Divine decree and remain silent- </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">וידם אהרן</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>.
In order to deal with painful situations, we have to first accept the new
reality. This liberates us emotionally – and instead of fighting reality, we
are now in a position to be creative in handling the new situation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Outlook</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> – This refers to the ability to see
the positive in others, their innate basic goodness, the positive side of
situations and events and the ability to take positive facts and convert them
into deep emotional experiences which people savor and enjoy. We also see the '
hidden miracles ' in our personal and national worlds as the Ramban explains –
the great and open miracles particularly those from the exodus from Egypt teach
us to look for the hidden miracles in our lives. Aaron had a compassionate approach to people. He
had the ability to see the good in each person, convey it to others and also
ascribe more positive attributes and motives to people's negative actions. In
this way, he was able to resolve conflict, make peace between people and in this way he engaged people during Golden calf episode. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Attention</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">.
A wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Instead of being mindful, connected
and attentive, a large amount of people's waking life is spent not paying
attention, going through physical motions in an automatic way, doing things
just to get something else - reach a milestone or pass a test as there is nothing
intrinsically valuable in what we are doing, and therefore we are not
connected to what we are doing etc.,. The Mitzvoth we do become – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">מצוות אנשים מלומדה </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span lang="HE" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> - without any emotional input, automatic and
in a rote manner. When it comes to our personal interactions we should focus on
deep listening and being present with the other person, and also read their non-verbal
messages. Paying attention and being mindful
are skills that were never taught to people. But what makes the situation worse
is routine and doing things out of habit. Aaron is warned – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ואל יבוא בכל עת אל הקודש</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span lang="HE" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">– not to
enter the Holy of Holies on Yom Kippur at all times of the day but only when he
carries out the sacrificial service of the day. The Divine spirit rests there
and Aaron should not make entering there, a habit, but be mindful of the
holiness of the place and the presence of the Divine spirit. The same idea is
expressed by the commandment that on the festivals people should not leave temple
using the gate that they entered the temple. Familiarity breeds contempt if we
are not careful to invest in relationships and quality of our actions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Generosity</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> –When individuals engage in generous
and altruistic behavior, they actually activate circuits in the brain that are
key to fostering well-being. These circuits get activated in a way that is more
enduring than the way they would respond to other positive incentives such as
winning a game or earning a prize. The Rambam says something similar -– we experience
true joy and happiness, when we act in a generous and altruistic way and have
needy people at our festive meals. Aaron not only promoted peaceful
relationships between people, but was very generous in the way he approached
and received people, which changed their self-worth and self-esteem.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When we interact with
our children, we should be aware that we are building the neural circuits for
well –being or enhancing neural structures that are negative and aggressive. By
giving our kids the 4 well-being keys <b>Resilience, Outlook, Attention and Generosity</b>
we are helping them to become better and happier people who are also concerned
with the happiness and well-being of others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-7919393676230148142016-04-13T10:16:00.001-07:002016-04-14T09:32:22.568-07:00Metzorah- Pesach 76 - Leadership, Humility and Internalization <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> <span style="font-size: medium;">The Metzorah has to undergo purification,
cleansing – tahara and atonement so that he can rejoin the nation and
rededicate himself to the service of God. He attains kappara- atonement by
removing part of his negative personality and rejecting it – his self-pride,
arrogance and haughtiness which is responsible for his contempt for other
people and the underlying cause of his slander, gossip and la'shon ha'rah. The
purification ritual is a process where the metzorah repents and changes from an
arrogant person to become a humble human
being. The ritual includes the bringing of </span></span><span style="font-size: medium;"><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">ושני
תולעת ואזוב </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>- scarlet thread which was dyed with a
pigment made from a lowly creature and a low bush – the hyssop symbolizing the
idea of humility. He also brings of cedar wood which grows tall and is imposing
as a symbol of haughtiness. The question is asked - if our concern is to help a
person become more humble, let him just bring the hyssop and the scarlet thread,
why also bring the cedar wood. ?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Being a humble ' nobody ' is not what the Torah wants of
people. People are supposed to become leaders in their lives , strive for greatness, virtue
and righteous and like the cedar in Lebanon grow tall - </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">כארז
בלבנון ישגה,</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> but at the same time be humble. Humility
is not taking credit for any achievements or success but acknowledging that
without God's divine help and providence and the merit of the community he serves,
he could not achieve in the world. But it goes further than this – humility is
a precondition for great leadership. It gives one the courage to expose one's
vulnerability and admit mistakes, learn from other people and listen to the
concerns and perspectives of others. Being humble makes more space for others
to come into his circle. A sign of Moses growth in stature was his going out
and including his brothers in his circle of empathy – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">ויגדל
משה ויצא. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">The arrogant person is concerned with protecting the image of his
' self', does not have the courage to expose his vulnerability, admit mistakes
and listen to others. There is only place for himself in his circle and a fear
of exposing himself makes him not willing to cooperate or support others and
just be competitive . This breeds distrust and suspicion. People just don't
connect with the person who is aloof and acts as if he is perfect. Leadership
attracts people with traits of humility and humanness – the courage
to expose vulnerability. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">The exodus from Egypt also required a purification
process from the impurity of Egypt. A bundle of hyssop – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">אגודת
אזוב,</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>
a symbol of humility was dipped in the blood of the Pesach sacrifice. It was an
acknowledgment that only God's intervention would redeem them from Egypt and
they had to demonstrate a unity which included as many people in their circle.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">The ritual designed to cleanse and purify the metzorah focuses on
humility. The question is asked – let the Kohen give a lecture to the metzorah
on humility and tell him that he should become a humble person instead of him
going through the ritual using symbols – 2 birds, spring water, cedar wood,
scarlet thread and hyssop etc.? We cannot tell people to be humble. Becoming
humble is an autonomous, self-directed internal process that comes from being
reflective and making meaning of one's life. It means giving expression to
values rooted in in his soul and inner-being. The symbols stimulate questions,
making meaning and internalizing values. The Kohen as a leader and teacher has
to create a learning environment and help with the process where the metzorah can make meaning and
internalize values. It goes beyond the old Chinese proverb - <i>Tell me, I
forget. Teach me, I remember, Involve me, I understand.</i> We want
internalization of values and in the case of the metzorah – it is becoming a
person of stature who is also a humble
person. The ritual process helps him repent and be reflective. He sends away
the bird a symbol of the person who talks badly about others, and the hyssop,
cedar wood, scarlet thread and blood of the slaughtered bird are mixed with the
spring water and then sprinkled – hazayah on him seven times. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">The Pesach – Seider experience is about creating an environment
which stimulates the curiosity of children to ask questions. It is questions,
their questions and we challenging their thinking that drives the acquisition
of knowledge that touches the heart and promotes the internalization of the
underlying values. True freedom is becoming a humble leader who supports
the needs and autonomy of others around him. As parents and teachers we should
support kid's autonomy so that they become humble leaders who internalize the
lessons of the Torah.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3246938970680899524.post-71602126022632903472016-04-07T03:10:00.001-07:002016-04-07T03:10:34.082-07:00Tazria 76 - Don't treat your child like a 'pet'<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The Midrash commentary
notes that just as man was created after the animals, the Torah laws pertaining
to man's body and physicality come after a discussion about the features that
make animals kosher. These laws include the laws of purity due to emissions or
childbirth and <span style="background: white;">spiritual skin disease called
Tza'ra'at. Tza'ra'at appears when God's divine presence leaves a person's body
and this causes changes in the body and skin of a person - a sign of his
contamination and impurity. The disease is a response and a message from God to
repent and mend his ways. It is his negative attitude to people that stems from
his arrogance and self-righteousness that makes him speak badly – lashon ha'ra
about others and be miserly with his money and wealth. When man gives
expression to his potential and spirituality , we say he preceded all of
creation because he gives expression to the spirit of God , the soul and the
ultimate soul being that of the Mashi'ach = the Messiah which was created on
the first day of creation. If man succumbs to his natural physical drives, the
animal side of him, we say that if he is proud and arrogant about his physical achievements,
he should know that a mosquito was created before him. Animals are physically
more efficient and complete than he is and fulfill their task and destiny in
the natural cycle far better than he does. The Mishna –Pirkei Avot 3:1 says
that a person should be constantly aware from where he comes – that his soul
came from a place close to the Divine throne and will return there, but if he
thinks of himself as a sophisticated animal, he comes from a putrid seminal
drop and his ultimate destination is to dust and worms. </span></span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: #FCFBF7; color: #48370e; font-family: "Narkisim","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">דַּע, מֵאַיִן בָּאתָ וּלְאָן אַתָּה הוֹלֵךְ
וְלִפְנֵי מִי אַתָּה עָתִיד לִתֵּן דִּין וְחֶשְׁבּוֹן</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="background: #FCFBF7; color: #48370e; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Narkisim;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>.</span><span style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The Midrash quotes
the words from Psalms 139: 5 </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">אחור וקדם צרתני </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span lang="HE" style="background: white; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> - Back and front you
have created me - that man has been
created with a potential to influence those who come after him , behind him
- </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">אחור </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> and </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">אחרון</span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>
and connect to the past – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">קדם </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> those who came before him and most
important the connect to the spiritual side , the soul which was created before
- </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">קדם </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> the body. The front of man signifies the good
inclination, the ability to direct and channel his natural drives for the good
of others and resist temptation of the evil inclination – the back and be
altruistic on a consistent basis. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As parents and educators
we have the duty to pass on our spiritual heritage to the next generation and
show how them their role in continuing the ' chain of tradition'. Unfortunately,
raising kids is very challenging. We tend to speak badly about them – lashon ha'ra
and then treat them like ' pet dogs', using punishments, consequences,
time-outs , tokens, stickers, rewards, praise and other doggie biscuits to make
them wanna behave , be compliant or to reinforce
good behavior. </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Teachers say that students with the
hardest lives and the most difficult behavior are beaten down the most when
their behavior is judged with tokens. An assistant in a preschool classroom in
a school that uses PBIS – positive behavioral intervention systems was
instructed to give a special needs student treats at intervals throughout
carpet time to encourage him to sit still. She described how upsetting it was
“that he was treated like a dog.” </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We talk about having difficult kids who are very troublesome
and not compliant. We call them lazy, immoral, manipulative, wanting attention
and avoiding tasks etc. and in response we try to modify their behavior using
extrinsic motivation. We focus on behaviors getting them to be compliant and
jump through our hoops.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The way to go to is to focus
on the whole child, his concerns, perspectives, motives and feelings – his soul
and inner being, his spiritual and emotional side. But we need to change our
paradigm. According to CPS, the collaborative problem solving approach –
children do well if they can and not children do well if they want to. We say
he is a kid with challenges and difficulties, not a difficult child. He is
lagging skills to be adaptive and flexible when the demands placed upon him
outstrip his skills. People and especially kids do better when we do not try to
control them, but rather support their autonomy, competence and relationships.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The verse 13:55 says if </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">וראה הכהן את הנגע והנה לא הפך הנגע את עינו </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> and the Kohen- priest
shall look at the affliction- nega and if the affliction has not changed its
color. The Chidushei Harim explains that in Hebrew, the word affliction and
pleasure have the same letters, only written in different order </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">נגע </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">and </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">ענג. </span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
word </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">עינו </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> means its color but homiletically it can be
read ' its letter ayin ', so focusing on the person's outlook on life , he has
not changed -affliction -nega – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">נגע </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span> into
pleasure -oneg – </span><span dir="RTL" lang="HE" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">ענג </span><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span dir="LTR"></span><span dir="LTR"></span>. He sees life's challenges as
affliction and not pleasure. When a parent or teacher relates to the spiritual
and emotional side of the child and sees educating him as a sacred mission, no
matter how challenging, meeting the child's needs is pleasure and not
affliction. He longer speaks negatively about the child being lots of trouble
but expresses compassion for a child who is struggling. He focuses on the
child's neshama- soul; the whole child rather than treating him like a pet dog
which not only impacts badly on the child, but also on the parent and teacher.
If we think man is a sophisticated animal we will continue to treat kids and
even our adult employees like pet dogs, but if we see man as essentially a
spiritual being we will focus on supporting their autonomy and our relationship
with them and help them address their challenges.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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AllanKatzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01832588840708909428noreply@blogger.com0